Can he have access?

[LlamaMamma]

Hi, looking forward some advice- legal or anecdotal.

My partner was arrested in early February, devices seized and bailed for possession of iioc. He had been sent unsolicited images which he’d unknowingly downloaded onto his laptop. He was bailed to a family members house and has not seen my daughter since it happened- at the instruction of SS. He has just been formally charged and is awaiting his first court appearance in Sept.

My daughter, although not his child, has always known him as a father figure and asks me constantly where he is and when she can see him. I want to reach out to SS (we were closed to them after the S47 just two weeks after his arrest) but am terrified incase they see this as a challenge to my status as a ‘protective factor’ in her life. I’ve seen so many stories where women have been challenged by SS for even asking to see their husband/ partner. What are my rights? We've been told that after sentencing, probation services are the ones in charge of access to my daughter rather than SS but this doesn’t fit with other cases I’ve seen online. Looking for any advice pls. I don’t know if we have a future together or not- I can’t risk my daughter’s place at home but I’d love for us to be reunited as a family- albeit a very different one to before.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LLamaMamma,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I hope that the following information and advice is helpful to you.

You say that you would like your daughter to have some contact with your partner, as he has been a father figure to her. However you are worried about children’s services involvement. You would like to know what your rights are regarding this.

As you have parental responsibility for your daughter you can make the decisions about what contact she has with other people. Legally no-one can stop you from allowing contact between her and another adult. However if you do decide to allow contact between your daughter and partner it would certainly be advisable to inform children’s services before you do this. You will then be able to get their opinion about this before you make a final decision.

I cannot predict what action children’s services might take but the possible outcomes include them taking no further action (and your daughter’s case remaining closed), or they may feel that they need further involvement – perhaps to complete a risk assessment or to create a safety plan.

Whatever they advise you, you will be better informed and able to make a decision going forward.

It is important that you do not allow contact between your daughter and partner without informing children’s services. If you do this and they then become aware of this then they are likely to have a much higher level of concern.

After sentencing your partner may have to engage with probation services. However it is not their responsibility to decide whether your partner can have contact with your daughter. Ultimately you have parental responsibility and so the decision falls with you, but if children’s services are concerned that you are not keeping your daughter safe then they will take action (which could include a child protection plan or court proceedings). That is why it is important that you inform them of your intentions so that you can work together to come to an outcome that is best for your daughter and your family.

You might find it helpful to contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation as they can provide specialist advice for parents in your situation.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat and an advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie