Positive Assesment but change of mind

[FY5R35]

Hello,
6 of my nieces and nephews have been placed in care on a ICO. I currently live in a 1 bedroom flat with my daughter. I put myself forward to care for my 2 oldest nieces and they are with us under a Reg 24 placement. We have since had our SGO Assesment which is positive and recommending us to be granted a SGO for both girls.

Our 2 youngest niece and nephew are in a foster placement and have had a maternal aunt be assessed which is also positive which leaves our 2 middle niece and nephew with no family to go to permanently.

Now intially, I didn’t put myself forward for anymore of our nieces and nephews not because I didn’t want to but because they were removed under police protection powers and it was all so fast. We was asked to care for all 6 in a B&B which we didn’t think was fair on our daughter so declined and offered to have the 2 oldest girls who are known to of spent weeks at a time with us. Unfortunately due to the parents choices we wasn’t able to build a relationship with the remaining 4 other children so we also didn’t know of any of the children’s needs so we agreed to take on our 2 nieces only in our one bedroom flat, we was also worried that our accommodation would affect our assesment and result in the 2 girls we had a strong pre existing relationship to also have to go into foster homes thankfully although our accommodation was taken into consideration during the assessment all of the positives outweighed and we was still given a positive.

Now our SGO Assesment was submitted to court at the end of last month with the issues resolution hearing being in April and Final hearing being mid next year. If we was to speak to the social worker about now including our 3rd niece into the Assesment, is this a possibility? Is it too late? Will it make our assessment negative, due to still only being in a 1 bed and now putting ourselves forward for another child even though we have made steps to prepare to move (would like to note our house is extremely organised and clean, with every child having their own seperate sleeping space). What is the process will we have to do the assessment again? Can she be placed with us asap like her sisters are or will they now wait till the SGO is granted if it is?

[Robin D]

Hello @FY5R35 and welcome to this forum.

The FRG advisors do not normally post at a weekend, so hopefully I can provide some assistance.

As I undestand it there are 6 sibling children involved. Excuse my use of numbers, but in age order, you have 1 and 2 and have a positive assessement and are proceeding towards an SGO for those two. 5 and 6 are with foster parents, but the plan is to place them with a maternal aunt who also has a positive assessement. 3 and 4 are I assume are currently with foster parents.

Your primary query is what impact it will have on your current assessment if you wer to offer to take one other sibling. I suspect the simple answer is no-one knows. I suggest you discuss the possibility with the social worker who did the assessment while making it clear that you are testing the water rather than making an application.

From a personal perspective, a number of years back we had placed with us two of five sibling girls. Using the same numbering, we had 2 and 4. The other three were placed with another foster parent. Within a couple of weeks one of those placements fell apart, and we were then given number 3. We eventually adopted all three. The situation with No 1 then deteriorated and she was placed in a childrens home from where we started to take her for weekends. Eventually though she returned to live with Mum. The youngest stayed with the other foster parent but we and her siblings were denied contact. As adults, all those girls have complained bitterly about having those bonds broken, but none moreso than the eldest and the youngest. I would encourage you therefore to do whatever you can to maintain those links if at all possible, even if living in separate homes. If you take no 4 or 5, what happens to the one remaining outside the extended family? It might be preferable to keep them in pairs, but I do not know that as it very much depends on the individual children. There is possibly no right answer sadly.

I do think given the complexity, you would be wise to talk your thoughts through with the SW. If you don't ask the question you will always be wondering what if.

I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide ...... Robin

[FY5R35]

Thank you for your reply! Siblings 3 and 4 are currently in seperate placements already as sibling 3 requires a lot of additional support and supervision and it wasn’t safe to keep them together, which is why we only want to put ourselves forward for number 4 on top of 1 and 2 we already have care of with a positive assessment. It’s a tough decision to not put ourselves forward for number 3 bur we had to choose what is right for our family we just don’t want to risk our positive assessment due to considering to many siblings.

[Robin D]

That makes sense. I still suggest talking it through with the social worker. It's going to be hard enough with willingness all round to ensure all children have some form of contact with each other moving forward. Reducing the placements from four to three can only be seen as a positive. However, please do not underestimate the task of reintegrating no 4 with the two you already have. I hope it all works out for you. Best wishes .... Robin.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Thank you for your reply! Siblings 3 and 4 are currently in seperate placements already as sibling 3 requires a lot of additional support and supervision and it wasn’t safe to keep them together, which is why we only want to put ourselves forward for number 4 on top of 1 and 2 we already have care of with a positive assessment. It’s a tough decision to not put ourselves forward for number 3 bur we had to choose what is right for our family we just don’t want to risk our positive assessment due to considering to many siblings.

Dear FY5R35,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the kinship carers’ forum. My name is Suzie, and I am an online adviser replying to you today.

I will reply to both of your posts here. I see that you have had helpful responses from Robin D already.

I agree that your first step should be to speak to the social worker and social work team manager so that they are aware that you are contemplating making this offer of care for another of the six siblings.

You explain that all six of your nieces and nephews are on interim care orders, which means that the court is in the process of considering the best long term care options for each of the children.
You can read more about the different stages of care proceedings here. In care proceedings the local authority, the parents and the children’s guardian (an independent social worker appointed to advise the court) are all legally represented by a solicitor.

Your offer to care for another of the siblings is an opportunity that could be discussed with their solicitors by each of the parties in the case. Family Rights Group have a web page that explains more about the different parties involved in care proceedings. Sometimes kinship carers seek leave of the court to become party to the proceedings themselves. You can read more about this here.

Both parents will be talking with their solicitors on the position they wish to put to the court about where the children should live if they cannot be returned to their care, so their opinion on your offer to care for another of the children would be sought. Your possible offer to care for another of the siblings could also be put to the children’s guardian who is there to analyse all the information, consider all the opportunities of kinship care and advise the court in complex situations such as this. You can read more about the role of the children’s guardian here. As Robin D has pointed out your proposal to care for another niece would leave only one of the children without a kinship care arrangement and in foster care. The guardian would need to give this serious thought but would also balance this negative aspect with the considerations of each child’s best long term interests.

A family group conference could be a way for everyone involved to think about the situation together and inform their opinions. The aunt who is a kinship carer for the younger two nieces, the parents, yourself and any other family members or friends connected to the children could meet with the help of an independent chair to talk about the different options. As you are aware it is the judge in the family court who will make the final decisions, but it would be good to know that every avenue has been thought about and that family members’ voices have been heard. You can read more about family group conference here.

I hope that your discussion with the social worker/social work team manager goes well and that this information is useful to you. Please feel free to come back to us for further support by posting back or calling the free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366

Best wishes,
Suzie