Not sure which way to turn

[NannyDuck56]

My friends sister passed 7 months ago and agreed with her sister that she would look after her children (10 & 5) when the time came. She is a single parent with 2 children of her own (17 & 15). She lives in a 2 bedroom house, so her 2 children, both girls, share a bedroom and she shares a bedroom with her sisters children, even sharing her bed with the 10 year old girl, 5 year old is a boy. Though the girls father does do as much as he can by way of having his child every weekend and as much time as he has off work in school holidays, and maternal grandmother helps as much as she can, my friend is overwhelmed, she has contacted Children's Services in her area more than once, eventually, being accepted and allocated a Family Support Worker from the Early Help Service. Although they have signposted to various support groups for bereavement counselling etc. they are unable to help with the main issues which are housing and funding. As much as she doesn't want to do it, my friend feels there will be no alternative but to give up the children, but then that will lead to them being placed in care, which upsets her greatly, but she just feels she can't carry on like this. She has been told that she doesn't meet the threshold for social worker intervention, even though this would likely help her in respect to applying for kinship care order, which would assist with finances and likely help very much with housing, as it is clear, they cannot live the way they are indefinitely. She has been told she can apply for kinship privately, but that would cost money, which is one of the big problems already. Is there anything she can do, which may prevent her from making a decision that will most definitely not be in the best interests of the children concerned? There are no safeguarding issues, and considering the conditions they live under (cramped, no space) that is very positive. There are however, issues with certain behaviours of the 10 year old girl. Any advice on where my friend could turn to for assistance would be greatly appreciated.

[Robin D]

In my humble opinion she should start by telling her story to her local councillor for whichever authority is responsible for Children's Services. She can find the contact details on the LA web-site or call them with her address. That might well bring a response. She could also contact her MP at https://members.parliament.uk/findyourm ... South+Down who will ask awkward questions.
Another route to explore is the complaints procedure and she should consider putting in a formal complaint stressing that these are children in need. The information at https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/ ... -decisions will help with that process.
Finally, local press may be interested while maintaining the confidentiality of the situation but I would make that the last resort.

@Suzie the FRG advisor may have further ideas.

[NannyDuck56]

In my humble opinion she should start by telling her story to her local councillor for whichever authority is responsible for Children's Services. She can find the contact details on the LA web-site or call them with her address. That might well bring a response. She could also contact her MP at https://members.parliament.uk/findyourm ... South+Down who will ask awkward questions.
Another route to explore is the complaints procedure and she should consider putting in a formal complaint stressing that these are children in need. The information at https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/ ... -decisions will help with that process.
Finally, local press may be interested while maintaining the confidentiality of the situation but I would make that the last resort.

@Suzie the FRG advisor may have further ideas.

Thank you, I have mentioned MP/Councillor to her, but will also mention complaints procedure.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

My friends sister passed 7 months ago and agreed with her sister that she would look after her children (10 & 5) when the time came. She is a single parent with 2 children of her own (17 & 15). She lives in a 2 bedroom house, so her 2 children, both girls, share a bedroom and she shares a bedroom with her sisters children, even sharing her bed with the 10 year old girl, 5 year old is a boy. Though the girls father does do as much as he can by way of having his child every weekend and as much time as he has off work in school holidays, and maternal grandmother helps as much as she can, my friend is overwhelmed, she has contacted Children's Services in her area more than once, eventually, being accepted and allocated a Family Support Worker from the Early Help Service. Although they have signposted to various support groups for bereavement counselling etc. they are unable to help with the main issues which are housing and funding. As much as she doesn't want to do it, my friend feels there will be no alternative but to give up the children, but then that will lead to them being placed in care, which upsets her greatly, but she just feels she can't carry on like this. She has been told that she doesn't meet the threshold for social worker intervention, even though this would likely help her in respect to applying for kinship care order, which would assist with finances and likely help very much with housing, as it is clear, they cannot live the way they are indefinitely. She has been told she can apply for kinship privately, but that would cost money, which is one of the big problems already. Is there anything she can do, which may prevent her from making a decision that will most definitely not be in the best interests of the children concerned? There are no safeguarding issues, and considering the conditions they live under (cramped, no space) that is very positive. There are however, issues with certain behaviours of the 10 year old girl. Any advice on where my friend could turn to for assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Dear NannyDuck56

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

I am sorry to read about your friend’s situation.

You have said that Children’s Services in her area have responded by offering early help but nothing more because it is a private family arrangement. Your friend ‘should’ ask for a child in need assessment for the children, requesting support under Section 17. Your friend may ask the local authority for details of their ‘kinship local offer’ too.

You have said that the girl’s father offers some support to her, and if he has parental responsibility (PR) your friend may ask him to financially support her. I am not sure if he is the father of the boy too, if not your friend may seek financial support from his father. Information about child maintenance can be found here.

If a child does not have someone with PR for them, then a local authority ‘must step in' to support them, see page 53 in Working Together to Safeguard Children 2023 for a paragraph about this: (though this may not be the case for the children your friend is caring for).

I am sorry not be able to give you advice about housing issues, Shelter may advise you.

Citizens Advice, Turn2Us and the Trussell Trust, may be able to support or offer your friend some help.

Best wishes
Suzie