Advice please ..

[Nannat]

I have had many baby grandsons living with us since he was 6 weeks old he is now almost 9 months ,I’ve been approved as connected person and had approval for foster panel in march.
Since he came to us he has had excessive contact at 5 days per week which is 30 minute drive away at a contact centre where I drop him off for 1.5 hours then collect him this is supervised by family support ,the problem is I have my own children who have broke up for summer now they are all dependent on me and primary age ,I’m still expected to do this level of contact during this 6 weeks summer whith no support from them and not taking into account that it’s also there summer break to ,I’ve asked if I can have transport support as it’s everyday is too much and I’m not getting any response the social worker has completely ignored my email and text sent last week and I’ve Cuban he dnu supervising social worker (fostering) she has tried to get support but says judging from
Conversations from family support she isn’t sure what support would be available ,she has asked if another centre in that area would be better for me but the problem isn’t the distance it’s having to take by children along every time as my husband works full time x

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Nannat

Welcome to the kinship carers’ board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having.

You are a kinship foster carer for your 9-month-old baby grandson; you have cared for him since he was 6 weeks old. There are likely to be ongoing care proceedings for your grandson.

His parent/s see him x 5 times a week for 1.5 hours at a contact centre, supervised by a family support worker. It is very positive that he spends time with his parent/s regularly and important that this continues, if possible, while he is in care. However, as you have been taking him there and back each time (a one-hour drive in total) this is understandably proving very onerous for you especially now that your own young children are on their school summer holidays. This means that you must take all the children with you. You explain that your husband is working during this time and so he cannot help with taking your grandson to contact or with childcare for your children while you take your grandson.

I can see that this is very difficult and is impacting on your whole family. You have already done the right thing by contacting your grandson’s social worker to ask if they can arrange for a support worker to collect and return your grandson from contact. This would be better for you than arranging contact at a nearer centre as you would still have to take all your children with you so it would not be that helpful. You have rightly copied in your supervising social worker from the fostering team (their role includes ensuring that you are properly supported as a foster carer and advocating on your behalf). You had not heard back from your grandson’s social worker at the time you posted on this forum. As the summer holidays are now well under way, you need an urgent acknowledgement from children’s services of your support needs and a decision from them about what they can do to alleviate the situation for you.

If you have still not had a response, then you may need to escalate matters. You can forward your query to your grandson’s Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) – they are responsible for reviewing your grandson’s care plan including contact arrangements. They don’t manage your grandson’s case or supervise the social worker, but they do have a role in trying to resolve difficulties, in making sure that arrangements for looked after children are working well and that all involved are being treated properly. They may be able to ask your grandson’s social worker/their manager to come up with a suitable plan of support.

Your other option is to make a formal complaint about the lack of support for you as a kinship foster carer and children’s services failure to take account of the additional demands on you during the summer holidays when you are trying to manage a high level of contact with caring for your own children. Please see our advice on making a complaint here.

I hope that children’s services respond positively to you with a plan that continues to support your grandson’s contact with his parent/s but also makes sure that you are properly supported as a kinship foster carer.

If you need any further advice, please post back on this forum or contact the advice services by freephone 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.,30 am to 3.00 pm, by filling in an advice enquiry form or by using our webchat facility.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Nannat]

Hi Suzie ,my grandsons social worker has told me that iam not meeting the fostering standards by not taking to him to all contacts and that my fostering status will likely need to be reviewed and if this goes back to court it will end in adoption.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Nannat,

Thank you for the update. I am so sorry to hear about the distress and pressure you are experiencing from your grandson’s social worker.

Asking for help with transport so you can manage contact alongside caring for your primary school children during the summer holidays is completely reasonable and not a failure. The social worker’s comments regarding your fostering status and adoption are very concerning.

As an approved kinship foster carer, you are entitled to support. Local authorities have a duty to facilitate contact and are expected to provide practical assistance (like transport or escorts) when a schedule creates an unreasonable burden. Requesting help is a sign of responsible caregiving.

A social worker cannot unilaterally change a care plan to adoption or remove a child simply because you asked for transport support. Courts prioritise keeping children safely within the family network wherever possible.

If you haven’t done this yet send a formal email to your grandson’s social worker, your supervising social worker, and their team managers. Frame your request clearly highlighting that you are not refusing contact; you are requesting necessary statutory support to manage it alongside your other parental duties. It may be helpful to reiterate your commitment to your grandson, state that 5-day-a-week transport is unsustainable without support during the school holidays and request formal transport provision or an urgent review. Mention that the threats regarding adoption and your status as a foster carer have caused worry and request clear reassurance.

If court proceedings are ongoing, inform your solicitor (if you have one) immediately. You can also inform your grandson’s Cafcass children’s guardian, who can raise these issues with the court and local authority.

If you haven't already, notify the IRO about the threats of a status review/adoption. Request their urgent intervention to review the contact support plan.

If support is still denied, do consider submitting a formal complaint to Children’s Services regarding the lack of support and the inappropriate comments.

Please know you are doing a wonderful job under very demanding circumstances. Seeking support to make this work for your whole family is the right thing to do.

If you need further guidance, please reach out to the Family Rights Group telephone helpline or post an update here.

Best wishes,
Suzie