Need some advice!

[StubbornMango]

Hello all. I’m new to this so I’m hoping that someone can help me because I am stressing out beyond belief. My children are currently on a child protection plan due to my house being messy (I admit that I should’ve kept on top of housework) and a false accusation of ABH (school has claimed that chickenpox scars on my son’s back are cigarette burns.) my children have been staying with a relative since March as I am on bail until July. I have just found out that I am pregnant. I am torn between having a termination and continuing on with the pregnancy. I just wanted to mow what the process would be if I did continue with the pregnancy and what it would mean for my existing children. Thank you all in advance

[KatKat10]

Hello Stubborn Mango

Are they accusing you of living in a messy home, if so to what extent? You have said that you should have kept on top of things, but you find the Social Workers apply their own version of what they perceive to be messy, living in squalor etc. On my reports, they make out I was living in squalor, but when I challenged this they backed down and admitted it was something that could be easily rectified and that the home was in otherwise good condition. If the mess is something you can do, such as tidying up, putting things away and having a clear floor space, they should not judge individuals. You could have a SW who is OCD/germaphobe/ no children of their own and obsesses about own cleanliness in own home, so is critical of others whom do not meet their own standards. I would challenge this in meetings and get them to add in the minutes or get something in writing. Take photos of your home as well, that way you have a digital date and time stamp record of when they were taken to confirm the standard of your home. If it meets health and safety standards, ie there is not a immediate fire risk then that should be sufficient.

If you have medical records of your child having chicken pox, your GP will be able to verify this and will be able to verify the different between a chicken pox scar and a burn, forensics on scar tissue will verify this if they want to go down that route. Scars caused by burns affect skin tissue differently from scars caused by cuts, pox and acne and so on. Teachers are not qualified medical Doctors so should not be making assumptions, same with Social Workers who think they are arm chair doctors.

Provide as much factual evidence as possible and get everything in writing, including following up with phone calls by email and asking them to confirm the discussion, highlighting the discussion points. Challenge everything and good luck! Do update when you can

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello all. I’m new to this so I’m hoping that someone can help me because I am stressing out beyond belief. My children are currently on a child protection plan due to my house being messy (I admit that I should’ve kept on top of housework) and a false accusation of ABH (school has claimed that chickenpox scars on my son’s back are cigarette burns.) my children have been staying with a relative since March as I am on bail until July. I have just found out that I am pregnant. I am torn between having a termination and continuing on with the pregnancy. I just wanted to mow what the process would be if I did continue with the pregnancy and what it would mean for my existing children. Thank you all in advance

Dear StubbornMango,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficult time that you are going through. I can see that KatKat10 has offered some advice and I hope that the following is also helpful.

Your children are currently on a child protection plan and are living with a relative as you are on bail until July. You have just found out you are pregnant and are wondering how this might affect the current children’s services involvement.

Because your children are subject to child protection plans, children’s services will need to carry out a pre-birth assessment on your unborn baby. The outcome of this may be that your baby is placed on a child protection plan when he/she is born, or it may be that by this point children’s services concerns have reduced and the child protection plans have been ended. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy then the social worker will need to consider what the impact of a new baby will be on you and your children. This will form part of their recommendations about what should happen next. Our website has more information about pre-birth assessments HERE and HERE.

Deciding whether to continue with a pregnancy is a decision that only you can make, and I would encourage you to speak with a trained pregnancy counsellor if you are unsure what you want to do. Brook, MSI Reproductive Choices and NUPAS provide impartial advice and support.

We have more information on our website HERE about children’s services involvement when there are child protection concerns.

I hope that this is of some help. If you have any further questions please feel free to post again, or you can call our confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat service available several afternoons a week.

Best wishes,
Suzie