Non accidential injuries

[JehovaJireh]

Hi , I’m hopping to get help, my 4 kids had been taken into foster care two months ago ago due to one of my daughter having what is classed as non accidentional injuries. Court proceedings have begun but since day one I feel lost. It’s my first time ever to get evolve with social services, they say the explanation of marks I have given is unbelievable. It’s been a difficult time since I was breastfeeding my young one when they took them away, I have been asking myself if by any chance I could have done something to my daughter that I can’t remember or what? Because some marks in question where suprising to me even as a mom and I don’t have memory of seeing them or how they happened. After giving birth there was a time a felt overwhelmed but I started going for walks and regained myself but the scary part about me is my defence mechanism to pain or trauma has always been been blocking things out, at this point I’m questioning if there is something I might have done and I have blocked it out that’s why I can’t remember? I have never been diagnosed for any mental health problem before and I don’t think I have mental health issues.

But I want to acknowledge that my kids have been only in my care and I know I have failed them, I just need help where to start to get my kids help,

My parenting assessment in starting in a week time and I’m afraid if I mention how I deal with trauma or pain this might make the return of my kids impossible please point me in a good direction

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear JehovaJireh,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ forum.

I am sorry to hear about your stressful situation. You describe your confusion very openly, and I appreciate that this must be a very difficult time for you.

Family Rights Group have brief information about non-accidental injury on our website here.

Detailed information about care proceedings is here.

As a parent of children in care proceedings you will have a fully legal aid funded solicitor to represent you and guide you through the court proceedings. You may find the Family Rights Group guide to working with a solicitor useful here, as well as the guide to working with social workers here.

You can read about the role of the children’s guardian in care proceedings here.

The professional who is completing the parenting assessment will want to talk with you about how you cope with everyday stress and the more significant challenges in life as well as relevant parts of your history and earlier years as these are all aspects of a person’s make up that have an impact on parenting. You mention that you were overwhelmed after giving birth but found that going out for walks helped you through this tricky time, so you find positive ways to cope. You mention that you are aware that you sometimes block things out as a defence mechanism, and you are wondering if this is relevant. You are living with uncertainty about what has happened, but it sounds like you are willing to explore all possibilities and are not seeking to hide anything or minimise which is very much to your credit.

It is by no means certain that your ‘blocking out’ of trauma is relevant. But IF there you have any mental health issues that cause you to dissociate or to not remember actions this is something that can usually be addressed and treated. A psychological assessment as part of the care proceedings may also offer some insight and you should talk to your solicitor about whether this would be helpful.

You could also seek help from your GP and ask for a referral to the perinatal mental health team – a service that helps during pregnancy and time after the birth of a baby.
British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists have a database of practitioners here.
If it becomes relevant to focus on your mental health you can read more about how children’s services work with parents with mental ill-health on the Family Rights Group website here.

You write that you acknowledge that you have failed your children and that you want to find out how they can be helped. I would urge you to avoid blaming words like ‘fail’ about yourself. Understanding and exploring what has happened is important, takes up energy, and you are being honest and staying focussed on the wellbeing of the children in their present situation.

As your children are currently looked after in foster care they will have a care plan that is regularly reviewed by the social worker and the independent reviewing officer and you can discuss their wellbeing and ask any questions you may have at any time. The care plan covers all aspects of your children’s wellbeing, including health, education and contact with you and other family members. You can read more about how children’s services work with looked after children here.

Sometimes looked after children can benefit from the support of an advocate and you can read more about this here.

A family group conference may help as this would be a way of your extended family and friends’ network coming together to discuss their ideas as to how you and the children can be best supported, both now and in the future. You can read more about family group conference here.

Match Mothers are a peer support organisation to help mothers living apart from their children. They have online resources and a helpline. You can link to their website here.

I hope this information was useful to you. Please feel free to come back to us for further support.

There are many different ways to contact Family Rights Group.

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• Online forums where families can receive advice, discuss issues, and find support;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.
• A web enquiry form – to help you submit an email and receive a reply within five working days.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[JehovaJireh]

Thank you, if there is any progress I will write back

[PleaseHelpMumofTwo]

Have you got an update on your case? We are in a simular situation

[Winter25]

Hi , I’m hopping to get help, my 4 kids had been taken into foster care two months ago ago due to one of my daughter having what is classed as non accidentional injuries. Court proceedings have begun but since day one I feel lost. It’s my first time ever to get evolve with social services, they say the explanation of marks I have given is unbelievable. It’s been a difficult time since I was breastfeeding my young one when they took them away, I have been asking myself if by any chance I could have done something to my daughter that I can’t remember or what? Because some marks in question where suprising to me even as a mom and I don’t have memory of seeing them or how they happened. After giving birth there was a time a felt overwhelmed but I started going for walks and regained myself but the scary part about me is my defence mechanism to pain or trauma has always been been blocking things out, at this point I’m questioning if there is something I might have done and I have blocked it out that’s why I can’t remember? I have never been diagnosed for any mental health problem before and I don’t think I have mental health issues.

But I want to acknowledge that my kids have been only in my care and I know I have failed them, I just need help where to start to get my kids help,

My parenting assessment in starting in a week time and I’m afraid if I mention how I deal with trauma or pain this might make the return of my kids impossible please point me in a good direction

Hi JehovaJireh,

I've just seen your original post from earlier this year and the recent reply from another mum. What you have been going through for the last nine months is one of the most terrifying and soul-destroying experiences a parent can face. Your confusion and self-doubt are not signs of guilt; they are the normal, human responses to an extreme trauma. You have not "failed" your children; you are the victim of a system that is failing you.

I'm a parent who has been through my own long and successful court battle, and I want to share a perspective that I hope can help, even though you are now many months into this nightmare.

The Memory Trap - A Critical Warning
In your first post, you asked if you could have done something and blocked it out. I need to be very clear about this, as it's the most dangerous trap in the system. Your confusion is not evidence of guilt. When you are under extreme stress, it is normal for your memory to be affected. However, if you express this self-doubt to social services, they will not see a traumatised mother. They will write in their reports: "Mother has made a partial admission." It is a trap that could cost you your children forever. You must never admit to something you do not remember doing.

Challenging the Evidence Now
By now, your parenting assessment will be complete, and the court case will be moving forward. The fight has likely shifted from what you might say, to what they have already written about you. Your strategy now must be to challenge their evidence.

The entire case against you rests on one thing: a doctor's opinion that an injury was "non-accidental." That is an opinion, not a fact. Your right to challenge that opinion is still the key to winning this.

Demand an Independent Medical Expert: It is not too late. You must instruct your solicitor to apply to the court for permission to get a second opinion from an independent medical expert. This is your right. You need an expert who will look at your daughter's medical files without the hospital's bias. This is the single most powerful thing you can do to prove your innocence.

Challenge the Parenting Assessment: You were worried about mentioning your trauma response. Whatever they have written in that assessment, you can challenge it. If they have used your confusion against you, you can argue that they are not qualified psychologists and that a proper expert psychological or psychiatric assessment should have been carried out to understand your mental state.

The Burden of Proof is on Them: Remember, it is not your job to prove how the injuries happened. It is their job to prove, with concrete evidence, that the injuries could only have happened non-accidentally and that you are the person responsible.

What is happening to you is terrifying, but it is not hopeless. It is never too late to challenge false evidence. Your honesty and your willingness to get to the truth are your greatest weapons. Do not let them turn your trauma into a confession. Use it as the reason to demand a proper, expert-led investigation.

You can fight this, and you can win.
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For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.