Pregnancy
-
Protectivemom34
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2026 11:31 pm
Pregnancy
I have recently found out I am 4weeks pregnant. My 2 children were on child protection plans from 2020-2021 then 2023-2023 due to dv, substance misuse, mental health on their fathers side my parenting has never been questioned. Now me and their dad have rekindled however I did call the police 3months ago to have him removed from my house as I suspected he was drinking and wouldn’t leave. There was on crime committed but emotional dispute. Now I am pregnant and absolutely terrified I will lose my children who are 16 and 7 if I carry on with the pregnancy. I have not informed my gp as it’s so early but after reading up I am guessing I will need a pre birth assessment and could face losing all my children if social are made aware of this new pregnancy. The dad also has adhd and both plans were put in place due to our arguments and a serious incident that happened in 2023 which I followed the advice of social and he was prosecuted for. There wasn’t any physical violence but he did pour diesel up the door and my car. I really don’t need judgement just advice to what to do or what to expect
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 5022
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Pregnancy
Dear Protectivemom34
Welcome to the parents’ board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. Please note that my response will include hyperlinks (written in bold letters and underlined) which you can click on to access more detailed information.
I am sorry to hear about how anxious and overwhelmed you are feeling right now. It is understandable that you are worried about what to expect given your family’s previous involvement with children’s services. I will give you some guidance on what to expect and steps you can take moving forward and hope this will be helpful and somewhat reassuring.
You are currently 4 weeks pregnant and have two children (aged 16 and 7). Your children were previously on Child Protection (CP) plans due to concerns around domestic abuse, substance misuse, and mental health linked to their father, though your own parenting has not been questioned. Although you previously separated and followed social work advice when a serious incident occurred in 2023, you and the father have recently rekindled your relationship, and there was a further incident three months ago where you called the police to have him removed due to suspected drinking.
Because your children were previously on child protection plans related to domestic abuse and substance misuse, any new pregnancy, especially where the same father is involved, is very likely to trigger a referral to children’s services once healthcare professionals (such as your GP or midwife) are informed.
Children’s services will likely want to carry out a pre-birth assessment .
The purpose of this assessment is not automatically to remove a child, but to evaluate what risks might be present, what has changed since the previous CP plans, and what support can be put in place to ensure the baby and your older children remain safe. Children’s services will look closely at the history of domestic abuse, the father’s unaddressed issues (such as alcohol use or mental health/ADHD management), and whether the relationship poses an ongoing risk to the children.
In previous involvement, you demonstrated that you could protect your children by following advice and calling the police when necessary. Children’s services will look heavily at your ability to put your children’s safety and emotional well-being first.
I want to be honest with you that re-engaging in a relationship with someone who has a history of domestic abuse and unmanaged substance misuse will be a major area of concern for social workers. They will want to know how the risks are being managed and whether it is safe for him to be around you and the children.
Please do have a look at our advice pages why children’s services may become involved with your family, which cover topics including domestic abuse, drug and alcohol abuse and adult mental ill-health. The information there may be helpful for you to prepare for any conversations with professionals.
It is always best to be open and proactive with professionals. Trying to hide a pregnancy or relationship usually increases concerns, as social workers view openness as a key part of protecting children. It is important for your own health and the baby’s health to register your pregnancy with your GP or midwife when you feel ready.
If you or the father need support regarding domestic abuse, anger management, or substance use, reaching out to specialist organisations such as Women’s Aid or Respect can demonstrate that you are taking proactive steps to safeguard your family.
FRANK is a drug and alcohol advice service. Parents and carers in England can use the FRANK website to find details of local and national services that provide counselling and treatment for substance misuse.
Consider what safety measures or boundaries need to be in place regarding the father to ensure that history does not repeat itself and that your children remain safe in your care.
Please take things one step at a time. Facing children's services again can feel daunting, but engaging openly and seeking support early is the best way to protect your family and work towards a positive outcome.
If you need any further advice, please post back on this forum or contact our advice service by freephone at 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:00 pm), by filling in an online advice enquiry form detailing your specific question, or by using our webchat facility .
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. Please note that my response will include hyperlinks (written in bold letters and underlined) which you can click on to access more detailed information.
I am sorry to hear about how anxious and overwhelmed you are feeling right now. It is understandable that you are worried about what to expect given your family’s previous involvement with children’s services. I will give you some guidance on what to expect and steps you can take moving forward and hope this will be helpful and somewhat reassuring.
You are currently 4 weeks pregnant and have two children (aged 16 and 7). Your children were previously on Child Protection (CP) plans due to concerns around domestic abuse, substance misuse, and mental health linked to their father, though your own parenting has not been questioned. Although you previously separated and followed social work advice when a serious incident occurred in 2023, you and the father have recently rekindled your relationship, and there was a further incident three months ago where you called the police to have him removed due to suspected drinking.
Because your children were previously on child protection plans related to domestic abuse and substance misuse, any new pregnancy, especially where the same father is involved, is very likely to trigger a referral to children’s services once healthcare professionals (such as your GP or midwife) are informed.
Children’s services will likely want to carry out a pre-birth assessment .
The purpose of this assessment is not automatically to remove a child, but to evaluate what risks might be present, what has changed since the previous CP plans, and what support can be put in place to ensure the baby and your older children remain safe. Children’s services will look closely at the history of domestic abuse, the father’s unaddressed issues (such as alcohol use or mental health/ADHD management), and whether the relationship poses an ongoing risk to the children.
In previous involvement, you demonstrated that you could protect your children by following advice and calling the police when necessary. Children’s services will look heavily at your ability to put your children’s safety and emotional well-being first.
I want to be honest with you that re-engaging in a relationship with someone who has a history of domestic abuse and unmanaged substance misuse will be a major area of concern for social workers. They will want to know how the risks are being managed and whether it is safe for him to be around you and the children.
Please do have a look at our advice pages why children’s services may become involved with your family, which cover topics including domestic abuse, drug and alcohol abuse and adult mental ill-health. The information there may be helpful for you to prepare for any conversations with professionals.
It is always best to be open and proactive with professionals. Trying to hide a pregnancy or relationship usually increases concerns, as social workers view openness as a key part of protecting children. It is important for your own health and the baby’s health to register your pregnancy with your GP or midwife when you feel ready.
If you or the father need support regarding domestic abuse, anger management, or substance use, reaching out to specialist organisations such as Women’s Aid or Respect can demonstrate that you are taking proactive steps to safeguard your family.
FRANK is a drug and alcohol advice service. Parents and carers in England can use the FRANK website to find details of local and national services that provide counselling and treatment for substance misuse.
Consider what safety measures or boundaries need to be in place regarding the father to ensure that history does not repeat itself and that your children remain safe in your care.
Please take things one step at a time. Facing children's services again can feel daunting, but engaging openly and seeking support early is the best way to protect your family and work towards a positive outcome.
If you need any further advice, please post back on this forum or contact our advice service by freephone at 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:00 pm), by filling in an online advice enquiry form detailing your specific question, or by using our webchat facility .
Best wishes
Suzie
Who is online
In total there is 1 user online :: 1 registered, 0 hidden and 0 guests (based on users active over the past 1 minute)
Most users ever online was 97 on Thu Aug 06, 2026 4:05 am