Child protection plan

[Meerkat]

My child is subject to a child protection plan as an allegation of sexual abuse was made against him by his ex wife. The allegation was previously made in 2011 in the divorce proceedings and deemed to be false the judge queried why she was bringing it up in the divorce proceeding but hadn’t been to a doctor nor the police, he was granted extra contact. The allegation then reappewarwd when he lost his business and maintenance went down, again she didn’t go to the police she mentioned it in passing to a sleep therapist her daughter was attending. However under safeguarding this was then passed to the police and children’s services. When children’s services first informed me they put my daughter on a child in need plan, and he was allowed supervised contact, the stress caused us to split but we have since reunited. Social services have now decided child protection is needed, and he is allowed no contact at all. He has undergone a risk assessment which didn’t identify any reasons he may be interested in children. They now have me doing a parenting intervention which has been very intrusive asking how I lost my virginity everything. Children’s services have no concerns with my daughter at home the home environment or school. Their primary concern is this allegation, which feels never ending, I’m struggling with all this and finding the intervention hard, now we have moved on to learning about sexual abuse which I have covered extensively due to work I used to do, I’m worried they won’t ever leave us alone or won’t ever allow my partner to return. The police never questioned him or even spoke to him as the child in question wouldn’t speak about the allegation, which of course doesn’t mean she didn’t disclose to her mum but given the history it could well be another malicious allegation via the mother. My mental health is suffering greatly, has anyone been in this position with an allegation? Can they stop us from having a relationship forever? I am adhering to the no contact and we have complied with their wishes risk assessment and this very long parenting intervention that I’m not even half way through yet
Thanks for reading thus far

[Meerkat]

No replies?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Meerkat,

Thank you for your post and I apologise for the delay in answering your query.

You say that your child is subject to a child protection plan due to an allegation of sexual abuse that was made by your partner's ex-wife against his child. This allegation was previously made in divorce proceedings in 2011 - you say this was deemed to be false. Your partner had contact with his son. You say the allegation came up again when your partner's ex-wife mentioned it to a sleep therapist, and a referral to the police and children's services was made. Children's services initially placed your daughter on a child in need plan and your partner was allowed supervised contact. The stress of this caused you to split but you have since reconciled. Children's services have now placed your daughter on a child protection plan, and he is allowed no contact. You say that your partner has undergone a risk assessment, which does not identify any reasons he may be interested in children. You are also doing a parenting intervention. Children's services primary concern is the previous allegation made against your partner. You are finding this involvement difficult and you are worried that your partner will not be able to return. You say the police did not speak to the child as they did not want to speak about the allegation. You would like to know if children's services can stop you from being in a relationship in the long-term. You have stuck to no contact, and feel you have met the requirements of the child protection plan.

Children's services have concerns about the risk your partner may pose to your child due to a previous allegation of sexual abuse made by his child, through their mother. They have placed your child on a child protection plan, because they are worried that your child may have suffered significant harm or be at risk of significant harm due to you reconciling your relationship. Children's services have recommended no contact and you are finding this stressful. It is important to say that as they do not have a court order, or share parental responsibility for your daughter, this is a recommendation only. They are asking you to accept this, as they think this is necessary to keep your child safe. You could choose not uphold no contact, but this may lead to them taking immediate action if they think your daughter would be in danger. This could include applying to the courts for removal.

You say that your partner has undergone a risk assessment and that this has not identified he has any sexual interest in children. Based on the outcome of the assessment, you may wish to ask the social worker to revisit their 'no contact' recommendation. You also say you are taking part in a parenting intervention. If you feel children's services recommendation is unfair and oppressive based on the available evidence, you may wish to write the social worker and ask them to explicitly explain why they think no contact continues to be necessary. Depending on their response, you could make a formal complaint this. Please see here for more information on how to do this.

Children's services may continue to recommend that you and your partner should not be in a relationship, if they think the risk to your daughter is too high. You will need to decide whether this is a recommendation you would like to follow, now or in the future. Like I said above, if they think your actions could lead to your child being exposed to danger or significant harm, the may seek legal advice and consider taking the matter to court.

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your mental health due to the stress of this situation. If you have not already, I would encourage you to speak to your GP about support in your local area. Please remember you can call the Samaritans at any time on 116 123.

I would also recommend that you ask for your social worker to arrange an advocate for you. You may find it useful to have someone who can amplify your views and help you communicate to the local authority.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[Meerkat]

They have now allowed supervised contact but only via a third party the social worker and someone else has done this. The person who was doing this is no longer available and the social worker isn't doing any more. The contact went well
Social services are now saying that' we can use a contact centre but this isn't viable cost, waiting lists and not wanting this form of unnatural contact. Surely we have a right to move on now? None of these allegations are proven ?! We have been stepped down to child in need but they won't sway from third party supervised contact it feels like they are being deliberately obstructive

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Meerkat

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your updating post. I am glad to hear that contact has progressed to supervised and that it went well. Your daughter’s case has also stepped down to a child in need plan which is positive. You have clearly worked well with the social worker and professionals involved and kept to the plan for your daughter.

Unfortunately, the person who agreed to supervise contact is no longer able to do so. From what you say, children’s services continue to maintain that contact should be supervised. The social worker has suggested that you consider using a contact centre. This is what most families do where needed. You explain why this is not your preferred option and why it is difficult. Is there another family or friend that you can put forward who would be willing to do so? And have you checked with the National Association of Child Contact Centres here to see what they can offer?

I do understand that this process is frustrating for you and that it has been going on for a long time. You may wish to revisit my response to your last post which explores the situation, provides some suggestions for what to do if you are not happy to continue and where I provide advice what actions children’s services may take if you decide to stop cooperating.

You feel that children’s services are being deliberately obstructive. I would suggest that you ask the social worker to have another discussion with you about why they believe that supervised contact is necessary for your daughter’s protection. As you say, the allegations are not proved. However, children’s services do not apply the criminal burden of proof. They work on the principle of the balance of probabilities and focus on prioritising the child’s safety.

As mentioned previously, if you remain very dissatisfied with children’s services’ recommendations you can consider making a complaint. Please see here for more information about how to do so.

I hope that this is helpful.

Please post back if you need any further advice or contact the advice service via our freephone advice line (0808 801 0366, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Mon to Fri), our advice enquiry form or webchat.

With best wishes

Suzie