Hello.
My ex and I share a son. He's 13. My ex over the years has threatened to take me to court for various reasons the main one is if my son decides he didn't want to go that weekend to just hang with friends instead or if he wasn't feeling well. We have no court papers to say he HAS to go see his dad it was a verbal agreement from when he was young. I'm now also being threatened with social services and he's also said he's been in contact with other care providers eg. Our sons school, which after speaking to the school themselves have assured me they've had no contact with his dad and that they have no concerns over our son's safety and wellbeing?
I'm still a little worried as his dad takes things too far with threats etc and I have other children with my husband who is also having threats made to him.
Do the social services also talk to the schools to get a better view of allegations made between separated parents?
Ex is threatening court and social services
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Superkitten
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2024 6:47 am
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Ex is threatening court and social services
Dear Superkitten
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing. You and your son’s father have an arrangement for him to see your son. This was a verbal agreement made a number of years ago. Sometimes your son does not want to see his father, has other plans or has been too unwell to visit him. His father has threatened to take you to court over this, has also threatened to involve children’s services and said he has contacted your son’s school, which is not true. You say that your ex-partner is also threatening your husband.
Your son is 13 and has a say in whether or not he chooses to see his father, as there isn’t a court order in place. If your ex-partner is unhappy with this and wanted the court to decide on the arrangements he would need to offer you mediation first (unless there is evidenced domestic abuse). As this is a parental dispute you may wish to access some private law advice from one of the following services which are funded to provide this advice. They can tell you more about mediation, about Child Arrangements Orders (this is the order your son’s father would apply for if he wanted the court to decide about and enforce contact if needed). The can also advise on a prohibited steps order which can prevent someone from doing something. The court’s main concern will always be the child’s welfare.
You can get this advice from:
Child Law Advice Tel: 0300 330 5480, Mon to Fri, 10 am to 4 pm, email or webchat
Rights of Women: national family advice line 020 7251 6577 (please see website for opening times)
Advice Now (online guides)
If you or your husband are worried about threats especially if they are violent, you can report this to the police.
Children’s services do not become involved in parental disputes unless the child or family needs support and services or if they believe the child may be at risk of harm. They are likely to signpost your ex-partner to legal advice about contact. However, if your ex-partner made a referral to children’s services they would have to decide within one working day whether or not to offer an assessment. If they did decide to offer an assessment they would want to speak to your son’s school to get an update about how he is doing. You have already clarified that your son’s school has no concerns for his safety or wellbeing. The social worker would also want to speak to you and your son and family if they were assessing. They would not just rely on what your ex-partner said. It may be that he is trying to worry you and put you under pressure to agree or to make your son feel he has no choice in the matter. You may find it helpful to see this information here about how children’s services’ work.
I hope this is helpful. If children’s services become involved then please contact the advice service again for further advice. You can post back on this forum, call our freephone advice line 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), by advice enquiry form or webchat.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing. You and your son’s father have an arrangement for him to see your son. This was a verbal agreement made a number of years ago. Sometimes your son does not want to see his father, has other plans or has been too unwell to visit him. His father has threatened to take you to court over this, has also threatened to involve children’s services and said he has contacted your son’s school, which is not true. You say that your ex-partner is also threatening your husband.
Your son is 13 and has a say in whether or not he chooses to see his father, as there isn’t a court order in place. If your ex-partner is unhappy with this and wanted the court to decide on the arrangements he would need to offer you mediation first (unless there is evidenced domestic abuse). As this is a parental dispute you may wish to access some private law advice from one of the following services which are funded to provide this advice. They can tell you more about mediation, about Child Arrangements Orders (this is the order your son’s father would apply for if he wanted the court to decide about and enforce contact if needed). The can also advise on a prohibited steps order which can prevent someone from doing something. The court’s main concern will always be the child’s welfare.
You can get this advice from:
Child Law Advice Tel: 0300 330 5480, Mon to Fri, 10 am to 4 pm, email or webchat
Rights of Women: national family advice line 020 7251 6577 (please see website for opening times)
Advice Now (online guides)
If you or your husband are worried about threats especially if they are violent, you can report this to the police.
Children’s services do not become involved in parental disputes unless the child or family needs support and services or if they believe the child may be at risk of harm. They are likely to signpost your ex-partner to legal advice about contact. However, if your ex-partner made a referral to children’s services they would have to decide within one working day whether or not to offer an assessment. If they did decide to offer an assessment they would want to speak to your son’s school to get an update about how he is doing. You have already clarified that your son’s school has no concerns for his safety or wellbeing. The social worker would also want to speak to you and your son and family if they were assessing. They would not just rely on what your ex-partner said. It may be that he is trying to worry you and put you under pressure to agree or to make your son feel he has no choice in the matter. You may find it helpful to see this information here about how children’s services’ work.
I hope this is helpful. If children’s services become involved then please contact the advice service again for further advice. You can post back on this forum, call our freephone advice line 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), by advice enquiry form or webchat.
Best wishes
Suzie
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Superkitten
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2024 6:47 am
Re: Ex is threatening court and social services
Thank you for your help and advice Suzie
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