Foster care social worker turned brother and his wife against me

[Father2be]

I am currently going through family court proceedings due to two allegations against me. One is they are saying I emailed a sex offender asking for “pictures of boys” and another is I sexually abused my partners son in the bath. The second allegation resulted in our son being removed (not who the allegation refers to). My partners two other children live with their dad and his dads ex wife. Both children have a long history of very troubled behaviour for which my partner has repeatedly expressed concerns yet has always been ignored. The second allegation came about due to both my partners children displaying what the school described as sexualised behaviours. The social worker on the case already believed without any evidence or disclosures that the children had both been sexually abused by me as they had a handful of overnight stays at our home. Once this woman (my partners ex’s dad’s ex wife) became aware of this total bias against me she exploited it and told professionals that the eldest child had said I had seen his *****. (No allegation of sexual abuse so far) the social worker then asked a string of leading and suggestively worded questions of the child, who is complex needed and on the autistic spectrum and walked away with a serious allegation of sexual abuse which has basically destroyed our lives. Our son was then put in foster care for 7 months while my parents had an assessment carried out by a foster care social worker. During this process she contacted my brother for a character reference of our parents and since that phone call or whatever it was he has completely turned against me. I surmise that the social worker has painted the absolute worse picture possible. This has since ruined my relationship with my brother and he has completely disowned me.

Since then the allegation was NFA’d by the police after ABE due to lack of evidence and the CPS decided not to charge me for the alleged emails to a sex offender requesting “pictures of boys” which the local authority claim is “indecent images” However, this hasn’t changed anything at all in the family court as the local authority are still pursuing these allegations and I strongly believe the only reason they are is to save face for what they have done to our family since then.

This is just the tip of the iceberg of the damage that has been done to us. I understand the need to safeguard, I understand the need to take concerns seriously but I have no tolerance for them destroying family relationships. I now only see my son once a fortnight and me and my partner who still wish to be a family again have been isolated from one another. I cannot even begin to describe the pain and anguish we have felt for the past 18 months. I strongly believe that both me and my partner have gathered a substantial amount of evidence against her ex’s fathers ex wife to prove she is a highly manipulative, narcissistic and dangerous person capable of wreaking havoc in other peoples lives.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Father2Be

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about your current difficult situation. I think that you may be involved in care proceedings in relation to your son. The other possibility is that you are involved in a private law court process about your son.

You explain that children’s services are concerned that you may pose a risk of sexual harm to your son. You strongly dispute this and note that you have not been convicted of any offence. As you are probably aware, the burden of proof in family court cases is lower than in criminal matters i.e. it is based on the balance of probabilities.

You are also concerned about how the allegations came about and how the social worker managed the investigation.

You have described the impact of the current situation on your family relationships. I understand that this is distressing and challenging to deal with.

You have not asked any specific questions so I will provide some links below to advice, information and services that may be of help or of interest to you.

In terms of the current court process, if you are legally represented the best thing to do is to discuss your son’s case with them and clarify what you can do to address the concerns and prsent your case in court.

A guide to working with a solicitor

A guide to working with a social worker

What if children’s services think a child is unsafe at home due to sexual abuse

Fathers’ advice

Complaints

Lucy Faithfull Foundation

You may also be interested in the emotional support and practical advice provided by Family Line to any parents struggling with family life issues.

Please post back if you have a query about children’s services. If you prefer you can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, use our webchat or advice enquiry facilities.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie