Social services child protection plan

[Laul23]

Hi, I recently had social services come into my life. I allowed a once abusive ex partner stay in my house for a week or so and had him around my son. Unfortunately I got a bit overwhelmed and frustrated after having a couple of glasses of wine and asked him to leave in which he started calling me names resulting in me hitting him and getting a slap back. My son witnessed this all and got caught in the middle marking his hand I could not say who marked his hand out the two of us. He got arrested for abh on me and common assault on a minor. After a few days reflection and a clearer head I withdrew my statement as I accept responsibility I started, not that I’m condoning the slap I got back but two wrongs don’t make a right . Since then my son is now on a child protection plan I have been rated a 3 out of 10 as to how safe my son is with me. I have a history of two abusive partners and a fair few police reports but the most recent was the only thing my son has ever witnessed. I am complying with social services and doing everything they ask of me. I have recently found out that I am pregnant with my ex’s baby. I haven’t informed him but am having to get a non molestation out on him but I am making the decision to keep the baby as I can not bring myself to abort it. Where does this leave me with my son who is on the child protection plan? What can social services do? Can they take my son away from me? When will the best time for me to tell them? Can I not wait till they are out my life if it isn’t obvious or will the doctors inform social?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Laul23,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ forum. My name is Suzie, and I am an online adviser responding to your enquiry today.

You explain that you allowed an abusive ex-partner to stay in your household with you and your son, and during a disagreement after drinking alcohol you asked him to leave and a verbal conflict and physical altercation followed, in which you hit your ex, and he slapped you. This was witnessed by your son who was physically caught in the middle between you and his hand was hurt and marked.

Your son is now on a child protection plan. You can read more about child protection procedures including child protection plans here.
You recently found out that you are pregnant with your ex’s baby, but your ex is not yet aware of this. You plan to seek a non-molestation order to prevent your ex from causing further difficulties.

Referrals to domestic violence support agencies may have been included in the child protection plan. If referrals have not been made already you could now request this in your next meeting with your son’s social worker. You will find useful links to relevant domestic abuse support agencies here.

Given the complexity of your situation, it may be useful for you to have help from an independent domestic violence adviser (IDVA). You can read more about the IDVA’s role here.
The Family Rights Group web page on domestic abuse is here and the page for mothers is here.

I am also sending you a link to Family Rights Group web pages for parents to be here.

You ask if children’s services could take your son away from you. Children’s services cannot remove a child from their parent’s care. If children's services felt that they were unable to work with you on the child protection plan and they felt that your son was unsafe in your care they could only remove him via an application to court for an order and they have not done this.

You have written reflectively about recent events, your part in them and the effect on your son. Children’s services have decided to work with you on a child protection plan to help you to keep your son safe at home with you. However, if at any point children’s services felt that they cannot work collaboratively with a parent they could consider starting the pre-proceedings process here or initiating care proceedings here.

You are right in thinking that health professionals, such as GP and midwives will be under a duty to refer to children's services as you have children’s services involvement for your son. Your best policy is to work honestly with the social worker. At the point you are certain you are continuing with the pregnancy you should let them know. Family dynamics and support networks change when there is a baby on the way, so you and the social worker will need time to talk over any new risks and needs.

Birth Companions is a support organisation that helps mothers to be who are facing disadvantage or inequality in pregnancy or the early days after the birth of a baby. I do not know if this is a service that would be suitable for you but I will include it here so that you can read more and decide on that for yourself. You can link to the Birth Companions website here.

I hope this information was useful to you. Please feel free to post back or call the free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie