No direct contact

[KRJ]

It will be two weeks this Fri when my 15 year old daughter walked into a police station and reported that her father hits her. Cut a long story short, she had been constantly lying to where she was and with who. Got stranded where she was and knew she would be in trouble so made it a 100 times worse. Police contacted me and took her to my mum's, mum had a short call from SS on the Saturday, daughter had a PO and SS interview her at school on the Tuesday. She told them that it wasn't physical abuse and that they just argue. We have since heard nothing. Us as parents have had no direct contact since the police on the initial evening. She is still at my mum's and nobody is answering phone calls. What is going on?! Never been in this situation before.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear KRJ

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today. I am sorry to hear of your situation. It must be a stressful and difficult time for you and your family.

You say your daughter’s behaviours are concerning, that she often lies about where she is and who she is with. During one of these occasions, she became stranded and walked into a police station and told them that her father hits her. The police contacted you and took her to your mother’s home. I will assume you and your daughter agreed to this.

Children’s services contacted your mother the following day and had a short call. Your daughter had an interview with a police officer and social worker at school a few days later. During this interview your daughter told the police that her father did not physically harm her, that they argued. Since then, you have had no further contact with professionals, your child remains at her grandmother’s home (your mother), children’s services are not answering your calls, and you have no idea what the plan is.

I would suggest you contact children’s services to request an update. If you have the name of the social worker who contacted you and or spoke to your daughter then this would be a good starting point. If you do not have these details then I suggest you contact the Duty Team at the Council, give them your daughter date of birth and ask them for the social worker’s contact details, including their email address. Once you have this, I suggest you email them to ask for an update, for example – are they completing an assessment, if so what type – child in need ? Child protection? If not, what is the next step, what support (if any) are they proposing.

You retain parental responsibility for your child, therefore children’s services have a duty to share information but given her age, if your daughter makes a request to share limited information or children’s services believe that sharing detailed information will put her at risk of harm, they may only share basic information with you. I have added HERE Working Together to Safeguard Children (23) for further information and guidance on how children services should be working with you.

As a family you may decide that your child returns home or continues to live with their grandmother. If this is decided, this is a private family arrangement.

If children’s services request that your child does not return home until an assessment is completed due to safeguarding concerns, this is not a private family arrangement, and the social worker should be asking you to sign a Section 20 temporary foster care arrangement. Your child will then become a looked after child under the care of her grandmother (a kinship foster carer). I have added some further information and guidance HEREabout this process but please do give us a call should you wish to as it can feel overwhelming and complex to navigate.

I have added HERE a link to information and guidance regarding child exploitation that you may find helpful as you said your child was not being truth about where and who she is socialising with. Child exploitation is a form of child abuse. It is where a person or group forces a child into doing something for them. The child often trusts the person exploiting them. And may be being exploited even if they appear to agree to the activity. They may be scared of what will happen if they do not do what their abuser says.

I have further added HERE our guidance when working with social workers. How to work well with them and what you may wish to consider if things are not going well.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please refer to our website for further information.

Best wishes, Suzie