I got separated from my partner as result of DV and police involvement. Social services referred my family to Early Help. My child lives with me and my ex visits her once in a week and trying to agree on child arrangements via mediation at the moment.
The family worker do not think there is action left for them to support me and have been constantly suggesting to close the case. This made me feel in a position not sure what support I need but I also don’t want to force the family worker to stay if they believe there are no actions. But they also mentioned they will stay involved with my ex partner while they stop working with me. Is this possible to work with only one parent not the other especially when my child lives with me and closing the case on my side means consent would be required from me to involve in my child’s life ? If the family worker is staying with my ex, and there is no consent from me, for their involvement with my child, how will they be able to help my ex?
Early Help Family Worker
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Daisyduke
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2021 10:15 am
Re: Early Help Family Worker
Hi Nori3,
This must have been awful for you, DV is not acceptable in any way, we'll done for staying strong and protecting your child.
I have seen the involvement of early help recently, I have to say It is better than the way they used to do things.
I hear you whe you say they feel it's time to close the doors as far as any concerns they may ha e a out you with your child. It sort of leaves you hanging.
My knowledge of social care makes me wonder as you, where do you go from here?
The way I read you post, The early help social workers are happy that you have done what is best for you and your child. They have no concern that you may change the path you are taking with regards access.
You ex partner on the other hand is considered by them to be an active risk, which is why they will be involved with your ex, encouraging him to seek help and support with regards to his behaviour.
As you child had witnessed the abuse in someway, there is a concern that, your ex may not consider this an issue when seeking contact. However should the social workers consider any contact to be unacceptable, then
they would probably discuss this with your ex, I beleive. They may take control of your Ex's access to your child, by requesting the court to make a different order to the one that you have agreed. I think it would be more likely for this to happen if your agreement is in their opinion detrimental to the safeguarding of your child.
As you say it is still being discussed. Personally myself I would not be wanting any contact with my ex and my child. However, social workers may consider it better that supervised access takes place. This would be to safeguard your child whilst still allowing him/ her to know background and paternal family.
The only people that can make the agreement is you, your ex, and the court, I beleive.
Stay strong and good luck.
I am not part of admin, just some one that has a knowledge of how things can work.
This must have been awful for you, DV is not acceptable in any way, we'll done for staying strong and protecting your child.
I have seen the involvement of early help recently, I have to say It is better than the way they used to do things.
I hear you whe you say they feel it's time to close the doors as far as any concerns they may ha e a out you with your child. It sort of leaves you hanging.
My knowledge of social care makes me wonder as you, where do you go from here?
The way I read you post, The early help social workers are happy that you have done what is best for you and your child. They have no concern that you may change the path you are taking with regards access.
You ex partner on the other hand is considered by them to be an active risk, which is why they will be involved with your ex, encouraging him to seek help and support with regards to his behaviour.
As you child had witnessed the abuse in someway, there is a concern that, your ex may not consider this an issue when seeking contact. However should the social workers consider any contact to be unacceptable, then
they would probably discuss this with your ex, I beleive. They may take control of your Ex's access to your child, by requesting the court to make a different order to the one that you have agreed. I think it would be more likely for this to happen if your agreement is in their opinion detrimental to the safeguarding of your child.
As you say it is still being discussed. Personally myself I would not be wanting any contact with my ex and my child. However, social workers may consider it better that supervised access takes place. This would be to safeguard your child whilst still allowing him/ her to know background and paternal family.
The only people that can make the agreement is you, your ex, and the court, I beleive.
Stay strong and good luck.
I am not part of admin, just some one that has a knowledge of how things can work.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Early Help Family Worker
Dear Nori3
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you have experienced including domestic abuse from your ex-partner. You explain that there is a plan in place for your child to see her father once a week. You and your ex-partner are having mediation to work out the long-term arrangements. Your daughter lives with you.
You have engaged with Early Help support and the practitioner is happy to end their involvement with you as they are satisfied that all the work has been completed. You are a bit unsure about this. I would suggest that if there is any specific support that you or your daughter need then you ask the Early Help worker to consider putting this in place. If there is no further work needed, then they will close the case as there has to be a purpose to their involvement. If you needed further Early Help or social work support in the future, then you can request this.
From what you say, the practitioner is proposing that they remain involved in doing some work with your ex-partner. As he is the person who was domestically violent then it is important that he is addressing this and changing his behaviour. So it may be that the practitioner has identified further work that they would like to do with him. If he is also a parent with parental responsibility he can consent to ongoing work with Early Help if he wishes to. And it sounds as if this may be a good idea. But if he is not the child's father and does not have parental responsibility then you would need to consent to any involvement regarding your child.
As you are not sure about what the Early Help practitioner is suggesting and the basis for it, the best thing to do is to ask them to clarify exactly what they are proposing and on what basis.
You have had a helpful and supportive response from another parent who has identified many of the issues and provided advice. But I just wanted to address some of the points raised.
I think that you and your ex-partner are already in a legal framework – mediation – to work out safe and suitable arrangements for your daughter and your ex-partner to spend time together. Mediation is not always appropriate where there has been domestic abuse but if the mediator is aware and able to work with you both then it may be a good way of agreeing the right arrangements. If not, then there is the option of applying to court so that the court can decide on a Child Arrangements Order, if needed. At the moment, you are involved in a private law process so a social worker cannot take control of that process. But the court could ask them to complete a section 7 report and to make recommendations around contact. The work that you have done and that your ex-partner is doing will be relevant in this situation. Early Help are happy that you are making safe decisions, it seems, so if you and your e-partner continue to engage with mediation and he does the work that Early Help ask him to do then hopefully you will be able to agree safe arrangements.
If things change, of course, please seek further advice.
I will provide links to additional support services, should you need them, and to our website advice materials for more information.
• Domestic abuse support services
• Rights of Women family law advice
• Family Line – emotional support for parents struggling with family issues.
• Early Help
• Domestic abuse
I hope this is helpful.
If you have further questions about children’s services, please post back or contact the advice service via:
Our freephone advice helpline 0808 801066, Mon – Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays)
Our advice enquiry form
Our webchat facility.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you have experienced including domestic abuse from your ex-partner. You explain that there is a plan in place for your child to see her father once a week. You and your ex-partner are having mediation to work out the long-term arrangements. Your daughter lives with you.
You have engaged with Early Help support and the practitioner is happy to end their involvement with you as they are satisfied that all the work has been completed. You are a bit unsure about this. I would suggest that if there is any specific support that you or your daughter need then you ask the Early Help worker to consider putting this in place. If there is no further work needed, then they will close the case as there has to be a purpose to their involvement. If you needed further Early Help or social work support in the future, then you can request this.
From what you say, the practitioner is proposing that they remain involved in doing some work with your ex-partner. As he is the person who was domestically violent then it is important that he is addressing this and changing his behaviour. So it may be that the practitioner has identified further work that they would like to do with him. If he is also a parent with parental responsibility he can consent to ongoing work with Early Help if he wishes to. And it sounds as if this may be a good idea. But if he is not the child's father and does not have parental responsibility then you would need to consent to any involvement regarding your child.
As you are not sure about what the Early Help practitioner is suggesting and the basis for it, the best thing to do is to ask them to clarify exactly what they are proposing and on what basis.
You have had a helpful and supportive response from another parent who has identified many of the issues and provided advice. But I just wanted to address some of the points raised.
I think that you and your ex-partner are already in a legal framework – mediation – to work out safe and suitable arrangements for your daughter and your ex-partner to spend time together. Mediation is not always appropriate where there has been domestic abuse but if the mediator is aware and able to work with you both then it may be a good way of agreeing the right arrangements. If not, then there is the option of applying to court so that the court can decide on a Child Arrangements Order, if needed. At the moment, you are involved in a private law process so a social worker cannot take control of that process. But the court could ask them to complete a section 7 report and to make recommendations around contact. The work that you have done and that your ex-partner is doing will be relevant in this situation. Early Help are happy that you are making safe decisions, it seems, so if you and your e-partner continue to engage with mediation and he does the work that Early Help ask him to do then hopefully you will be able to agree safe arrangements.
If things change, of course, please seek further advice.
I will provide links to additional support services, should you need them, and to our website advice materials for more information.
• Domestic abuse support services
• Rights of Women family law advice
• Family Line – emotional support for parents struggling with family issues.
• Early Help
• Domestic abuse
I hope this is helpful.
If you have further questions about children’s services, please post back or contact the advice service via:
Our freephone advice helpline 0808 801066, Mon – Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays)
Our advice enquiry form
Our webchat facility.
Best wishes
Suzie
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