Social services

[RT12345]

Hello this is a long one and complicated. Hello I'm just looking for some advice. So I had a child removed from my care about 10 years ago. Then 4 years ago I had my daughter we went to a mother and foster placement everything was really positive I passed every assessment we came home together and after 8 months signed off no involvement again. 2 years after I had my son and there was no contact at all from social services they were happy that I had done everything I needed when I had my daughter, then when he was a few months old he suddenly passed away so because it was an unexplained sudden death and my history with my first child social services and the police took my daughter into police protection whilst they did scans and tests on my son to see if I had caused his death I wasn't arrested or under suspicion it was to rule it out, a few days later they all come back fine so my daughter was allowed home, the ambulance service reported me to SS for my home being cluttered and chaotic on the morning of my sons death so they came to my home to see me and they said they had no concerns at all with my home and my parenting and if I needed support then they were there. My question is I'm now pregnant again and I'm wandering whats the likelihood of social being involved again? Or would they see it as when I had my son that I did everything fine with my daughter and there was no concerns when my son died. Thankyou

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear RT12345

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

Thank you for explaining your situation so well. I am very sorry to hear about the difficulties you have experienced including having a child removed from your care and the loss of your baby son from unexplained sudden death. I can understand how difficult that must have been for you, coupled with your daughter’s temporary removal into police protection while the circumstances of your baby’s death were investigated. I am very pleased to hear that your daughter was safely returned to your care, and you have been caring for her since. It is to your credit that you coped which such distressing circumstances. I hope that you were offered / able to accept support.

You are now expecting another baby. Many congratulations on your pregnancy. I can understand that you have some anxieties though about whether children’s services may come involved again.

It is possible that children’s services may become involved again to make sure that you have all the support in place during pregnancy and for the birth of your new baby. I know that you did not need to have a pre-birth assessment when expecting your son as there were no issues and that you have obviously been able to care for your daughter safely since her birth, despite the traumatic loss you experienced two years ago. But your midwife may suggest a referral to children’s services as above to ensure that there is an assessment of yours and the baby’s needs and that you have the right support. They will know or ask about your other children. Hopefully, you can have an open discussion with your midwife about whether they would refer.

Another option is for you to contact your local children’s services’ directly to update them on your pregnancy and ask directly if they would want to do a pre-birth assessment This might be the best approach and mean that you get an early response; this may reduce any anxiety you are feeling.

If a pre-birth assessment is offered, then please see our more detailed information here.
It is a good idea to make sure that your home is well-kept and not cluttered or chaotic as this was referred to previously. Children's services were satisfied that it was fine but as it would be on your daughter's records then they will be aware and want the home to be well-kept for your family especially when you have a new baby.

If the baby’s father is involved, he should be able to support you with your pregnancy and if there is an assessment he will be part of that too. He may find it helpful to look at the parents-to-be information linked to above too.

I am sure that you are already aware of the Care of the Next Infant (CONI) programme to support bereaved parents during a subsequent pregnancy and for a period after birth but I will attach a link here in case you have not seen it.

Please seek further advice if children’s services become involved and you have any queries about this. You can post back on this forum, call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 (Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm), send an advice enquiry or use our webchat facility. You can find links to all of these options here.

With best wishes

Suzie

[RT12345]

Thankyou for that. So do you think its likely they will do a pre birth assessment? And it's possible that the midwife wouldn't even refer me to social services? X

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear RT12345

Thank you for your further post. Unfortunately, I cannot say exactly what will happen. I hope that my earlier response has set out what may happen. But you will need to discuss the situation with your midwife or with children’s services directly for them to let you know whether they would refer or offer a pre-birth assessment.

I hope you find out from them soon. I understand that not knowing is difficult.

Best wishes

Suzie