Partner on shpo and social services

[pinkrose91]

So I met my partner nearly 2 years ago and am currently 27 weeks pregnant with our first child.

However 5 years ago during Covid my partner was struggling with mental health and went on 18+ chat rooms, one of the people he was chatting too was an undercover police officer and he says he wasn’t aware of the age of the person just presumed she was over 18. Well a year later he was arrested for communication with a minor, pled not guilty as he was unaware and it was an 18+ room. However this went to trial last year and he was found guilty received a 21 month suspended sentence, 2 year probation and 10 year shpo.

We’ve been open with midwives, police and probation from the very start and a social worker came the other day to do a pre birth assessment but the social worker is a girl I know of from the town we live and our families are known to each other. During the assessment I felt completely judged when she asked numerous times why didn’t it cross my mind to end the relationship, also she informed us of a safeguarding referral going in due to me not taking my partner’s conviction seriously, I broke down and told her that it was and I wouldn’t be able to cope without him but if I had concerns on how he was that he would be moving out straight away

Now I’m worried that they will take the baby from me or tell him to move out.

Sorry for the long post but any advice would be helpful

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear pinkrose91

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to you post today. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry that you felt judged by the social worker who attended your home and for the worry you now have regarding your unborn baby.

It is surprising that the social worker did not inform her manager that there was a conflict of interests since she knows you in a non-professional capacity. You should ask for details of her team manager and request a change of social worker.

As your partner is on the Sex Offenders Register it is normal for a pre-birth assessment to be carried out. This can include child protection procedures under s.47 of the Children Act 1989 and could result in your unborn baby being placed on a child protection plan. This depends on the outcome of their assessment and concerns about your child’s safety. A risk assessment of your partner is also likely to be carried. Your can read more about child protection procedures.

Where an expectant mother or father has a criminal history or previous involvement with children’s services then children’s services will be involved if they start a relationship with someone who has a child or is expecting one and they receive a referral.

I am including links to information on our website which you may find helpful whilst in this process:

Here you can read about the process when children’s services receive a referral.

From the A-Z of terms on our website pre-birth assessment

Information for parents to be

Here is our GUIDE to working with a social worker.

It is to your credit that you and your partner have been open and honest with the professionals about your relationship and pregnancy. Understandably, you are concerned about what will happen going forward. Assessments will be completed, and it is possible that a working agreement for when baby arrives and care arrangements is put in place. Without knowing the outcome of an assessment, it is not possible to offer anything but general advice. What happens will depend on the outcome of the assessments.

In your post you say that the social worker stated you were no taking your partner’s conviction seriously, you ask the social worker to explain her reasons for reaching this conclusion. I suggest that when speaking of his offence/conviction you try not to make excuses or to explain his behaviour as this could be seen as you justifying his behaviour. Children’s services will want to see you as a protective parent. It is for your partner to explain is position and respond to questions about himself.

To help you navigate this difficult process you may find it helpful to speak with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation as they offer advice where there are concerns related to sexual issues or abuse. Here is their number 0808 100 0900. The NSPCC also have a programmer for mothers as protectors, and you can telephone them on this number 0808 800 5000.

You may find it helpful to speak with one of our experienced advisers and you can do so by telephoning the advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[pinkrose91]

Hi suzie,

Many thanks for your reply, we have thought about asking for a new social worker but are concerned that it would delay everything as the pre birth assessment has been completed. No body has mentioned doing a risk assessment, when should this take place?

The thing is no one has even asked me about my partners conviction until we met with the social worker and I said I know it was wrong and if I ever had any safeguarding concerns then I wouldn’t stay with him and he would be moving out or I wouldn’t stay take the baby and stay with my mum until he had left so I don’t exactly know where she got the knowledge that I wasn’t taking it seriously from.

Thank you so much for your advice and the links they have been very helpful

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear pinkrose91

Thank you for your response. You should ask the social worker about a risk assessment and ‘how they are done’. UNLOCK has some helpful information about risk assessments for individuals who have been convicted of a sexual offence.

In your first post you said that you were open and honest from the start, informing midwives and other professionals about your partner’s conviction. Perhaps you ‘could’ remind the social worker of this if they suggest that you are not taking the conviction seriously, and ask them why they think that.

Best wishes
Suzie