accused of harming child, s47 and arrested

[omgshoes]

My 3yo tripped over his potty into his bed frame and caused himself a black eye a couple of weeks ago. I was loudly instructing him how to use the potty at the time (we both have a hearing impairment), the window was open and the neighbour has audio recorded it. I accept my tone with him was probably not great and I could have been kinder.
He went to nursery the morning after and apparently told them 'mummy kicked me'. This started a section 47. A few days later, police asked him what had happened and this time he said 'mummy hit me and threw me on the bed'. I was then immediately arrested, interviewed, and bailed with no contact allowed to any of my three children. This means I have to sleep elsewhere too so I'm not in the same house as them - meaning I haven't seen my partner either as he is now looking after the kids solo. My partner is usually my carer too (invisible disability).
My 6yo is crying herself to sleep saying she misses me, it's heartbreaking.
I've never been in trouble with the police before and I'm completely terrified. All of our lives have been turned upside down by this. I can't eat and can't sleep and miss my partner and kids so so much. They are doing the ABE interview with the 3yo tomorrow and I am so anxious that he might make something else up regarding 'mummy' again. He has no idea what he's saying, nor the consequences.

(There is also apparently another audio recording of a time a while ago I was frustrated with my partner for not helping me with the children and told the 3yo 'teddy hates you', which I obviously shouldn't have said. I've sought help with my own mental health to combat this as I know I shouldn't be getting into the state where I say things like that).

I'm scared I'm going to end up going to prison for something I haven't done. I love my kids endlessly and have always strongly expressed that physical discipline is a complete no-go and I am beyond shocked he has said this to nursery, let alone said something similar when asked again by police.

Does anyone have any advice / what is going to happen?

[Winter25]

Hi omgshoes,

I am so sorry. Having your life turned upside down this quickly is traumatic, especially when you are managing a hearing impairment and an invisible disability. What you are feeling right now is a natural reaction to an emergency situation, but it is not the final verdict.

The initial phase of a police investigation combined with social services involvement is the hardest part, but there is a clear process to follow to protect your position.

Right now, you are dealing with two separate systems, the police and social services, and they move at different speeds. The most important thing you can do to protect your children and your future is to follow your bail conditions exactly. Even if you want to explain things to the kids or send a message through your partner, do not do it. Total compliance right now is the fastest way to show the professionals that you are a safe, responsible parent.

The audio recordings are something your solicitor can handle. Your hearing impairment is vital context here. What a neighbour might hear as shouting is often the factual necessity of communicating in a home where both the parent and child have hearing needs. Make sure your solicitor has your medical records to prove this. It changes the narrative from one of "anger" to one of "communication needs."

Regarding the ABE interview , try to stay grounded. Professionals know that three-year-olds can be inconsistent and easily influenced by how questions are asked. The fact that the story changed between the nursery and the police is something the forensic team will have to look at very closely. Your job is to stay calm and let the process happen.

The comment about the teddy is something you have already handled the right way by seeking mental health support. Being self-aware and taking action before being told to is a major "protective factor." It shows you have insight into your own stress levels and are willing to take responsibility.

I have drafted a short, professional email for you to send to the social worker today. This puts the ball in their court and begins building your paper trail.
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Subject: Request for written safety plan and criteria for return - [Children's Names]

Dear [Social Worker Name],

I am writing to formally request a copy of the current safeguarding plan in writing, including the specific criteria and pathway that would allow me to return to the family home or have contact with my children.

I am complying fully with all bail conditions and am currently staying at [Location]. I would also like to ensure the department has a record of the following context for the assessment:

Communication: Both myself and my child have hearing impairments. Raised volume and specific tones are often a functional necessity for our communication, which is relevant to any audio recordings the department may be reviewing.

Support structure: I have an invisible disability and my partner acts as my carer. I am concerned about the impact this sudden separation is having on our ability to function as a family and on the children’s welfare.

Proactive steps: I have already engaged with mental health support to address the stress of this situation and to ensure I am being as proactive as possible for my children.

I look forward to receiving the written plan and clarity on the next steps following the ABE interview tomorrow.

Kind regards,

[Your Name]
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If your partner is struggling as a solo carer, he can ask the social worker for Section 17 support. This is voluntary help that could provide practical assistance for him while you are living elsewhere.

Focus only on getting through the next 24 - 48 hrs hours. You have a solicitor which is good, you are getting support, and you are following the rules. That is how you move through this.

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For transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the system, offering support and strategic guidance. Always follow the specific legal advice from your solicitor.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear omgshoes,

Welcome to the parents forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry to hear about this very distressing situation and I hope that the following advice and information is helpful to you. You can click on the hyperlinks to take you to more advice and information on our website.

You say that you have been told that a section 47 assessment has been started. A section 47 assessment is also called a ‘child protection assessment or ‘child protection enquiries’. You can find out more about this on our website HERE. If children’s services receive information which suggests that a child might be at risk of significant harm then they have a legal duty to carry out an assessment. The information they have received about what your son has said would meet this threshold, so this is why they have a duty to carry out this assessment.
I think it would also be helpful for you to read our detailed information and advice about the child protection process on our website which you can find HERE.

It is likely that children’s services will hold an initial child protection conference. This will be to decide whether your children should have a child protection plan. You can watch THESE VIDEOS as they explain what to expect from an initial child protection conference. You will be invited to the conference and you will be able to explain your views about the situation.

As there are bail conditions in place it is very important that you remain in communication with your solicitor who will advise you about the next steps regarding your arrest and the police investigation. It is vital that you comply with the bail conditions.

It is possible that your bail conditions may be changed at some point which would allow you to have some contact with your children. It is likely that children’s services will be involved in the decision about how and when you will be able to see your children. They may advise that your contact should be supervised, for example. It is crucial that you work openly and honestly with children’s services regarding this.

I am sorry to hear how difficult this is for your 6 year old daughter. I would suggest that you speak with the social worker about this and ask whether there is any support that can be put in place for her. Often there is a welfare officer at school who can offer extra emotional support to children who are going through a difficult time. Or if there is a particular teacher she trusts then perhaps you could ask them to spend some time with her.

I hope that you have some emotional support at this extremely difficult time. You may find it helpful to contact MATCH mothers; they are an organisation who offer confidential, non-judgemental support to mothers who are separated from their children, whatever the reason. You can call them for free on 0800 689 4104. Sometimes it can just help to talk with someone who understands a little of what you are going through.

Please do post again if you have more questions. You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser if you prefer. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[omgshoes]

Still not allowed to see my kids apart from 1 video call per day, still not allowed to sleep in my own house... the ICPC is on 6th May and the social worker has informed us they will be recommending Child Protection plans for all 3 of our children, despite only 1 making these accusations and the other 2 children being completely fine. They are also calling the bruised eye area a "significant injury" but are refusing to explain why this is a significant injury and any other bruise he has ever had is not significant... they are also ignoring the fact he has accused nursery workers of harming him and accused his dad of harming him, clearly he is just too young to understand what these accusations actually mean.
They are refusing to help with how best to educate him that he can't say things like this when they're not true (of course we would want him to say these things if they were true but they're not!). This whole things feels like a nightmare.

[Winter25]

Hi omgshoes,

I know this feels like a living nightmare, and the frustration of not being heard is overwhelming, but you need to switch into strategy mode right now. The Initial Child Protection Conference (ICPC) is on May 6th, which means you have one week to prepare your defence.

Here is exactly why Social Services are doing what they are doing, and how you need to counter it:

1. Why all three children?
This is standard local authority protocol. In child protection, if one child is deemed to be at risk of significant harm within a household, the local authority will almost always blanket-assess all children in that household. They are not saying the other two have been harmed; they are applying a procedural safety net. Do not waste your energy fighting this specific point, it is a box-ticking exercise for them.

2. The "Significant Injury" Label
Any bruising to the face, head, or neck of a child under five is automatically classified as a "significant injury" under multi-agency safeguarding guidelines. They aren't ignoring his other bruises, it is the location of the bruise combined with the accusation that forces them to use this exact terminology. Arguing with them about whether it is "significant" will make them think you are minimizing the injury. Instead, accept their medical terminology but maintain your clear factual account of how the accident happened.

3. The Previous False Accusations
The fact that your 3-year-old has previously accused nursery workers and his dad of harming him is the most critical piece of evidence you have. You need to immediately instruct your solicitor to formally request the nursery's incident logs and safeguarding records. If the nursery documented that he made false accusations against their staff, that establishes a documented behavioural pattern. Do not expect the social worker to investigate this for you, you and your solicitor must force this evidence onto the table before the ICPC.

4. "Educating" the Child
You must immediately stop asking the social worker to help "educate" him about not making false accusations. While your intention is completely innocent, to a social worker or police officer involved in an active Section 47 investigation, this looks like you are attempting to "coach" a witness or tamper with their evidence. Leave this alone completely until the police investigation is formally closed.

Your Action Plan for May 6th (ICPC):
You are allowed to submit your own written statement to the Chair of the ICPC. Do not go into that meeting intending to argue emotionally. Write a bullet-pointed statement detailing:

Your full cooperation with all bail conditions and separation (proving you prioritize safety).
Your proactive engagement with mental health support (proving protective factors).
The context of your hearing impairments regarding the audio recording.

A formal request that the Chair considers the documented history of the child making identical allegations against nursery staff.

Stay calm, stick to the facts, and lean heavily on your solicitor to gather those nursery records.

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For transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the system, offering support and strategic guidance. Always follow the specific legal advice from your solicitor.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear omgshoes

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. This is Suzie, Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear that your family situation is still very difficult. You have remained living outside your family home and are complying with bail conditions. You currently have only one video call a day with your children. I understand that this is distressing.

There is going to be an initial child protection conference tomorrow. You have read the social worker’s report where they are recommending a child protection plan for all your children although it was your 3-year-old who sustained an injury not the other children. Children’s services must consider the needs and potential risks to all children in a family when one child is hurt or makes an allegation. It will be for the conference to decide if the threshold for a child protection plan is met for one or all the children. Sometimes, children within a family do have different plans e.g. child in need and child protection but it depends on the specific circumstances.

You are unsure why the social worker has described your son’s bruised eye as a ‘significant injury.’ You say that the social worker has refused to explain what exactly they mean by that. You can ask the Chair at the conference to seek further clarification about this. However, children’s services will not disregard what a child has said or try to teach them not to say if they have been hurt as that is not safe.

You can provide your own brief response to the social worker’s report to share at the conference. Please see these tips on getting ready for a conference to help you.

Your son’s nursery will be represented at the conference, and they will also provide a report for the conference which should be shared with you. So, you can check if their report confirms that your son has accused them and his father of hurting him in the past as part of the wider context.

You can bring a friend or family member with you for support at the conference and should be invited to talk to or meet the Chair beforehand.

If you need any further advice following the conference please post back or contact the advice service via our freephone advice line (0808 8010366) open 9,30 am to 3.00 pm (Mon to Fri), send an advice enquiry or use our webchat.

I hope it goes ok tomorrow.

Best wishes

Suzie