Advice on nephew living with me

[Pearce2allen]

Hi, I just need some advice my nephew currently lives with me 4 days a week and his uncle 4 days a week. His mum tragically died in 2019 and his dad (my brother) is in and out of his life due to alcohol and drug issues. Me and his uncle has come to a decision that he needs to be somewhere permanent. It was decided he lives with me, and he is happy with this and being with his 3 cousins. We've had advice from social services that we can go down the Court order route, which as his dad's not about and still claiming his child benefit, it's probably the best thing. My brother has agreed that him living with us is tge best thing. However due to having 3 other children is there any other benefits we could claim?.We have bee told that we wouldn't get any kinship care benefits as social services services haven't placed him with us. Me and my husband both work and don't claim any benefits. Any advice?.

[Robin D]

If Children's Services are being so hands off, the good news is that they are comfortable that the child should reside with you. It also appears that this arrangement has been going on for more than a year. If so, that means you are able to apply for a Special Guardianship Order. Part of that process is a full assessment that the local authority must do for the court and this should include any 'support' that may be needed, The LA can decide to pay a special guardianship allowance that gets regularly reviewed, and may stop eventually but the aim, where paid, is to ease the transition financially. You can see fuller details on the advice sheet at https://frg.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2 ... advice.pdf. However, it seems as though most local authorities are reluctant to pay any allowance, but it's worth considering.

As regards other benefits, I regret I can't help much, but clearly you would be in the same position as any family with that number of children and on the income that you have. Citizens Advice are very helpful in detailing what benefits are available and you may find it helpful to talk to one of their advisors.

Child benefit should be paid to whoever has the primary care of the child. If you are unable to discuss this with your brother, then you should speak to DWP about it. Again, Citizens Advice will be able to help with that. Sadly it seems that dad has lost sight of the fact that the benefit is for the child, not himself. He of course can claim benefit in his own right through the local jobcentre especially if if he is unable to work. Sorry to advise that the relationship between you and your brother may get a little rocky if he perceives you are depriving him of money.

Good luck as you walk this difficult path, but keep in mind you are doing this for your nephew who cannot do it for himself.

[Pearce2allen]

Thankyou for your advice this is very helpful! I have been advised by social services of the guardianship, this is something we may consider, however having had a meeting with my brother he did agree regular payments and the child benefit being paid to me and my husband, but the odd few pound here now and again is all we've had. I do know how difficult it is to have some sort of benefit these days hence the reason I needed advice. I think going down the Court order path will at least give us some regular monthly income with the child benefit.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Pearce2allen,
I have sent you a personal message.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Pearce2allen,
Thank you for your post and welcome to the Kinship Carers’ Board.

My name is Suzie, and I am an online adviser responding to your question today.
You write that your nephew’s mother sadly died in 2019 and that his father, your brother, was not able to care for him due to his own alcohol and drug issues. You and an another relative effectively stepped into the gap to offer consistent care to your nephew. Had you not done this children’s services would have had to intervene and your nephew could have become a looked after child (a child in the care of the local authority).

It sounds like children’s services are involved with the family and giving you advice as to how you can now plan a permanent kinship care arrangement for your nephew.
The first step is for you to consider all the different types of kinship care –kinship foster care, special guardianship and child arrangements order and decide which works best for your situation before you decide what to do next.
You can link to Family Rights Group web page which explains all of the terms here
Common questions that family and friends have about kinship care are discussed here
Children’s services are saying that you and the uncle made a private family arrangement to care for your nephew after his mother died but I think that you could argue that you are effectively a kinship foster carer and that your nephew could be seen as a looked after child under a voluntary arrangement (S.20) between children’s services and his father. This would mean that the local authority would have to pay you an allowance and offer other support.
To explore this option, you would have to detail the circumstances in which your nephew came to live with you (and his uncle) after his mother died and consider whether children’s services were involved in the decision making at that time. You can read more about private arrangements vs kinship foster care and disputes with children’s services here
Family Rights Group have put together some template letters that kinship carers in this situation may want to use. They are on our Top Tips and templates page:
Letter 4 – this is a letter to help kinship carers to request:
To be assessed as a kinship foster carer for a child already in their care and
Payment of a foster care allowance.
Letter 5 – this letter can be used to make a formal complaint where children’s services have made a decision that: the carer is not a kinship foster carer, the child not ‘looked after’ and fostering allowance will not be paid. It can be used where children’s services say a private family arrangement is in place.
You can find template letters 4 and 5 here

Should you choose to apply for a special guardianship order or a child arrangements order you could be entitled to legal aid to have a solicitor to help you make the application and to represent you in court. You can read more about this here
As children’s services are still involved and advising you, you could request that they fund legal advice for you and also support you with any questions that arise so that you are confident about your options and are well represented.
It is also important that you receive independent advice on any financial and practical support offered before you make decisions.

Children’s services can pay a child arrangements order allowance to kinship carers (although this is discretionary.) You can read more about this here
Information about discretionary special guardianship allowances is here
There is more information about practical and financial support for special guardians is here

A guide to welfare benefits for kinship carers is here
This is a lengthy response to your question as there is much to consider.
It may be that after you have read through some of the linked information you would find it helpful to discuss your options with an adviser on the helpline on 0808 801 0366 Mon-Friday 9.30-3pm.

Best wishes,
Suzie