Shared parenting - Father's refusal

[CharMoo]

Hi
I am looking for some advice from fellow parents regarding shared parenting following separation.
My daughter's father and I have not been together since realistically before she was born 2 years ago.
He lived with us for the first 4 months but has since then been living back at his house with his mother and brother.
I have continually spoken to him about maintaining good contact with our daughter and have always encouraged them spending time together, however, when I have suggested these times 9 times out of 10, I am met with dismissal, and attempts to not be involved.
He does nursery pick up 3 times a week and spends an hour with her getting her to bed while I am still working. He has recently, after alot of persuasion, started having her every other Friday at his house overnight and for usually no more than a couple of hours, if that, on the saturday morning following.
He has the remainder of his time to himself and does not initiate spending extra time with her.
I have recently approached him with trying to make things fairer between us on the shared parenting front in order to eleviate some of the pressure of my parenting load and mental well being and provide him with opportunities to spend with his child and encourage her relationship with him and also his family.
I will always provide him with transport when he is responsible for our daughter in taking her to his house and their limited activities.
I get every other friday night to myself following work throughout a month and that is all. My social life always involves my daughter so that I can still maintain some form of social interaction and improve my mental wellness.
I have recently asked him to stay on for a few extra hours on one of his evening that he puts her to bed in order for me to attend an evening exercise class. He is refusing to do so insisting that I obtain support from friends or family, which I honestly always do before even approaching him to care for our daughter due to his persistent dismissal and avoidance to do so.
I have expressed to him that the parenting load and responsibilities need to be more fairly distributed but he continues to dismiss my communication regarding this and insisting we discuss it no further.
Would I be within my rights to approach mediation in order to obtain a more professional parenting plan and communication for us and to ensure the responsibilities and load are more even?
If anyone has any advice or previous experience with this it would be greatly appreciated to hear your views, insights and recommendations.
Thank you in advance

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear CharMoo

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Goup’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. It sounds as if you are doing your very best to care for your child as a single parent and to promote her contact with her father. He is involved but is reluctant to care for her at times and is not co-parenting in the way that you would like and which might benefit your child.

You are wondering if mediation might be helpful and are seeking advice from other parents in this situation. I hope parents will respond to you.

At Family Rights Group, we provide advice and information when Children’s Services in England are involved or when you wish them to become involved in your family life.

From the information you have provided this is not the situation for you and your family. We are not we are not funded to or specialist in providing advice in these types of situations. But you may find the following websites and organisations helpful:

Family Lives: coparenting for separated parents

Advice Now: family and children

CAFCASS resources to help you make arrangements for children

CAFCASS parenting plan

Both Parents Matter

You can find lots of additional services including legal advice and mediation via our useful links too.

If we have misunderstood your post above and you do indeed have a question about your family’s involvement with children’s services, please do contact us again. You can repost on this forum or send us an advice enquiry form detailing your current involvement with children’s services and your specific question.

Our Advice Service also offers:  

• Easy to follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets; 
• A  webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you. 
• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[CharMoo]

Than you very much Suzie for the helpful information provided and taking the time to respond.
Apologies for the misunderstanding in what your group provides, I was directed to you by a friend. Thank you for clarifying what this group is for and apologies again.
I shall look into your suggested resources.
Many Thanks
C