Brother in care not allowed contact with us

[confusedanddazedd]

Hi,
My brother was taken into fostercare last week.
First of all the social worker told us that they couldn't stop him using his phone (he's 11) to call us.
We have texted and called a few times, no reply except one.
"I'm not allowed to speak to my family"

we thought this was strange so called the social worker. She said that's right. he isn't allowed to even call us and he is only allowed to see his brothers and sisters (all adults) once a month.
(each parent gets a visit once a week so he gets 2 parental visits a week and 1 sibling visit a month. No phone calls. No video calls)

We also asked if we could see him Christmas.
No we can't.
We asked can we video call?
No
what about a regular call?
No.

I don't understand

He came to live with his sister when his parents couldn't anymore. we have a very close relationship and everyone is hurt by this.

I completely understand that he needs to be away from his parents but what I don't understand is why we aren't allowed to call him and can only see him once a month.

he is a very hurt and troubled child!
We have called social services over and over again with our worries about his parents. Now we have been heard but we have also been cut pur of his life.
I haven't seen or heard from him in 2 weeks. I feel sick. I feel scared.

I am regretting telling social services about concerns for his safety because I don't know how a child can deal with the trauma of being taken from his whole family and not just a bad home situation. I wish I had just sorted something quietly with his parents instead of telling all to social services.
I thought I was doing the right thing but I worried I did more harm than good.

they can't do that can they?
He owns a phone.
She said they couldn't stop him reaching out to us of he wanted to. Now they are saying he's not allowed to call us not even on Christmas.
I feel so confused.

He's only a little boy and he's had a really terrible life! Now the authorities are withholding contact (virtual and actual) with a loving extended family for reasons they haven't disclose with us. I don't think there are any. we have done all we could for him his whole life including cooking, and bringing meals, cleaning his home, babysitting, helping where we could and contacting the authorities when parents became to ill with addiction to care for him properly.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear confusedanddazed

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties your family is experiencing.

You are a sibling, not a parent, and have a number of queries in relation to your younger brother who was recently placed in foster care. I will respond to your post here today but please post any further queries on our specialist kinship carers’ forum as there you may also be able to get support and advice from other relatives. You can find the kinship carers’ forum via this link so please post there if you need further advice.

You reported concerns that your brother’s parents were struggling to care for him due to substance misuse issues. This was the right thing to do as he must have been very vulnerable in that situation and may have been suffering serious harm. From what you say, he then went to live with his sister but it seems that this has broken down and he is now in foster care.

You do not say if an interim care order has been made for your brother or if it is a voluntary section 20 arrangement agreed by his parents. This does make a difference so it is worth trying to clarify this with the social worker and/or your brother’s parents.

I can see that your main concern is that you have not had contact with your brother for 2 weeks and that future contact is restricted to once a month with no phone or video calls. I can understand how this is very distressing for you; you would like to have much more contact and to have arrangements in place to see your brother over Christmas.

Sibling contact is very important and this is acknowledged in statutory guidance; please see the information contained here which sets this out and which you can refer to when raising your concerns about the limited contact available at the moment and putting forward your request for this to be increased or to be more flexible. I would suggest that you put your request in writing (by email) to your brother’s social worker, their team manager and your brother’s Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) . If you do not know who the IRO is then the social worker should be able to tell you.

The social worker should be able to tell you how the current contact arrangements have been decided and on what basis. Please ask them to explain their reasoning to you. Contact is always about the child’s needs. As he has only just gone into foster care, and also depending on his age, it may be that the social worker wishes to allow him time to settle into the foster home and to minimise confusion and distress for him while he gets used to his new home and carers. The social worker would also need to take account of any potential risks posed by contact and they are required to consider what the right boundaries are when contact takes place.

There must be a Looked After Child Review (LAC review) within one month of your brother going into foster care. You can ask the social worker to let you know when this is happening and if you may be able to attend. You are not a parent with parental responsibility so they may not agree to this. Either way you should make sure that the IRO is aware of your concerns about the current contact arrangements as this is one of the topics that must be discussed at the LAC review. You can specifically query arrangements for Christmas including how to give your brother a gift if you do not see him at that time.

Your brother may benefit from having an advocate to support him as a child in care. You can find out more about advocacy for children here. If there are care proceedings then he will also have a Guardian who will represent his best interests in the court process.

You or any of your adult siblings could also be assessed to care for your brother as kinship foster carers or as a Special Guardian. You would have to have an initial family and friends care (viability) assessment first. Please see here for more information about this.

I hope this helps.

Please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (excluding bank holidays), if you would like to discuss the situation with an adviser. Or post again – on our kinship carers’ forum – if you prefer.

Best wishes

Suzie