School referral to children’s services

[NewMouse222]

Good morning,

I’m looking for some advice please? The school have made a referral to children’s services regarding my son, age 9. They didn’t obtain consent for the referral, nor did they attempt to obtain consent. We feel completely blind sided by the referral and did not anticipate this course of action. We asked for the school to document their safeguarding concerns to us in an email to shed light on the matter. We were told:

They did not feel my son was being supported at home for his symptoms of anxiety. My son went through a period of being sick in school and being sent home. I explained to the school that he was worried about my husband (of 10 years, 17 years together, stable and loving relationship) who suffers from panic attacks, anxiety, and at worse suicidal thoughts. My husband is supported by his GP, and takes medication for his condition. My son wanted to come home to make sure his dad was okay. My husband was signed off work during this time, and we had was having an impact on my son. I made 2 doctors appointments at this time for my son, with the same doctor that sees my husband. The doctor was wonderful with X and we talked about the importance of talking to a grown up and talking about his feelings. My husband had a long chat with him too. The result was that X got better and overcame his anxiety, through the support and guidance we gave him at home, and he stopped being sick in school.

At this time my husband had a brief interaction with the school when he picked up my son from school. The headteacher and deputy head teacher asked for a meeting with him. I hadn’t told the school of his condition, so they would not know that because of his anxiety he can’t partake in a 2 vs 1 conversation with the school. He was not well enough to do so, so he politely declined. I rang the school when he told me to ask what the matter was, and they said it was all okay.

It has not been disclosed to us but I feel that they prejudiced my husband because of this encounter. I believe that they do not understand mental illness, and they interpreted his illness as a safeguarding issue. This isn’t correct, the school should adapt their procedures to accommodate parents with mental illness, and they should have arranged a meeting with us both in attendance so I could support my husband and he would feel prepared.

Fast forward a few months and my son got very overwhelmed at school after his friends told on him. He scratched his arms, legs and face, in an incident that qualified as self harm. This time the school only rang me, would not tell me what the concern was, meaning I turned up to a meeting with my husband excluded. I feel that their prejudices meant that they did not want to include my husband. They view him as part of the problem. The teachers in this meeting told me of other concerns they had - these all seemed very minor, and included calling a girl ugly auntie and looking a picture of a ***** on an educational school app. It was a very confrontational meeting and I felt accused or they were accusing my husband (who was not even invited to the discussion). I agreed in this meeting to early help, and the school referred me to F. This was with a view to helping X with anxiety (manifesting in making himself sick and scratching himself). F were not very engaged with us, they offered only one solution which was an 8 week in school programme called the Emoji project. It would involve taking my child out of class to attend. The subject matter looked very basic and myself and husband were concerned that making X attend something like this would stigmatise him and actually make him feel worse. We declined this support, but remained open to any other ways they could help. We went back to our doctor for support. The doctor empowered us as parents to support X, he recommended some books, and encouraged us to help him ourselves. I mentioned to I the doctor the safeguarding concerns the school had, and he said we shouldn’t worry and to tell the school we had spoken to him.

Fast forward again by 2 weeks and I receive a call from the school saying he had a legal duty to make a referral to children’s services. A mum had called to say that 3 pupils, one being my son, had been chatting about sex on an online game. X has had basic sex education at home, along with some of his friends, and the messages were age appropriate. It was just 9 year old boys being silly. No one has ever seen these messages as they disappeared. My son says it wasn’t him and was the other boys. The headteacher didn’t want to know, he had enough concerns to make the referral.

I am upset as I feel the school has got side tracked with these smaller concerns, and failed to listen to us on the important matters such as X’s anxiety. The school did not recognise the support we give to him at home or the help from the GPS. I was undermined and told that this was not adequate. They prejudiced and excluded my husband from important meetings. They would also drop my husband of email correspondence too. I’d copy him in and they would only correspond with me. I feel that this is discriminatory. I feel that they misunderstood my husband and then started to see things that weren’t there… a family without mental health illness would not have been reported for calling a girl an ugly auntie or going on a biology app… it felt like a campaign of harassment. There was no reason why they didn’t make the referral with our consent, we are open to receiving help. They have misconstrued our initial decline as disguised compliance, but if they talked to us they could see all the help we have had from other sources. This was ignored entirely.

It has caused a great deal of stress, particularly for my husband who already suffers from anxiety. This ironically makes it more stressful for our son, who remains they main priority. Their strong armed approach was completely unacceptable and they failed to act in the best interests of my son. My son needs his dad to feel better, but the schools actions have made the situation worse.

Please advice? Is this discrimination on basis my husband has a disability?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Newmouse222

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties that you and your family are experiencing.

You have explained how upset you are about how your son’s school have worked with your family. In particular, you are unhappy that they recently made a referral to children’s services without your consent. You feel very strongly that they are excluding and discriminating against your husband due to his mental health needs. You describe very clearly what you and your husband have done to try to support your son with his anxiety. This includes getting medical advice from your GP and following that advice. You also agreed to the original Early Help referral. However, you made an informed decision not to accept the in-school Emoji programme offered. You did not think it would be the right service for your son.

You are worried that the school is behaving unfairly as your husband has mental health needs. You also feel that they have excluded him. As a parent with parental responsibility he should be properly included in school meetings and information sharing processes about your son. The school should give him a reason if they have decided to exclude him. It seems this may have stemmed from the interaction you described.

It may be a good idea for you and your husband to ask for a meeting with the headteacher to discuss your concerns about how they have managed the situation. You always have the option to make a complaint, too, if you need to. But it is always best to try to resolve matters where possible. You may also want to consider the timing of any complaint in view of the current social work involvement.

Unfortunately, we do not advise on education or school issues but there is a specialist service called Child Law Advice (Education) who have this expertise. Their contact details are 0300 330 5485, email and webchat.

Children’s services are now involved due to the school’s recent referral. The headteacher said that they had a legal duty to refer, based on the concerns they had. He was not willing to discuss this more fully with you. I can understand how distressing this must have been.

Schools follow the following statutory guidance:

Safeguarding children in education, and Working Together to Safeguard Children (2018) .

The guidance allows school to share information without consent where it is necessary to safeguard and promote a child’s welfare. It is good practice for them to inform parents, though, which is what your son’s school did. It is their role to share information with children’s services if they are very worried about a child. But it is not school’s responsibility to assess the situation fully. Again, as you are unhappy about how this was done, you would need to raise this with the school.

Once children’s services receive a referral they must decide within 1 working day how to proceed. So they should have been in touch with you by now to let you know what is happening. They should confirm if they are planning to undertake an assessment. And whether this will be on a voluntary child in need basis . If they believe that your son may be suffering significant harm they would do a child protection enquiry. It is important for you to clarify this. Either way, you, your husband and your son should be fully involved and given an opportunity to discuss your view of the situation. Children’s services will consider the concerns raised by the school but their assessment is broader. Please see the following links to find out more:

• Child in need
• Child protection.

When a parent has a mental health condition this can impact on their child and family. In some cases, this can cause harm to the child but this depends on the specific circumstances and a number of different factors. Professionals should be aware of how parental mental ill health can affect children but they will also consider positive factors such as when a parent is engaging with their GP or medical professional, taking medication, having counselling and is well-supported by family and friends etc. This is discussed much more fully here.

I hope that this FAQ will be helpful to you. It looks at the legal duties which exist to make sure that people with mental health needs are treated fairly by children’s services and other agencies.

We have a template request for an advocate letter (1) . Your husband could use this to request an advocate to assist him in any formal meetings with children’s services. We also have a guide to advocacy (with links to specialist advocacy services at the back) which you can find here.

This guide to working with a social worker also provides practical tips that may help you if children’s services remain involved.

I hope this helps.

If you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, lines are open Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays). You can also post a further query on this forum, use our webchat or ask a question via our advice enquiry form.

Best wishes

Suzie

[NewMouse222]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you so much for your response, I have found it reassuring and helpful.

We have had a response from SS and they have concluded no action due to no concerns. This closure has allowed us to proceed with a formal complaint about the schools treatment of my husband, particularly how they excluded him from communications.

I wondered if you could help on a few areas to assist our complaint?

We are based in X so I believe the legislation is Keeping Learners Safe . In this document, 3.28 it says “Those working in education settings should discuss their concerns about a child’s well-being with the family and where possible, seek their agreement to make a report to social services. However, this should only be done where it will not place a child at further risk.” We are aggrieved that the school didn’t attempt to get our consent for the multi-agency referral form, as there are no circumstances or evidence that our consent would place our child at risk. Are we right to assume that the lack of consent means they had genuine child protection concerns regarding our child ? I’m very perplexed by this as I can’t see any evidence that points to this.

I have asked for a copy of the MARF, but the school have been very difficult. They have put in a subject access request to approve the sharing of this report with us. Please can I ask if this is normal practice? It feels like they are trying to obstruct our complaint. They told us that their was nothing in the report that they hadn’t discussed with me (not my husband of course, he was not included in the meeting, calls or correspondence), yet they won’t share the document with me straight away. It will take a month to get a response on the SAR.

Are we likely to get the SAR agreed and the report shared with us from your experience? Under what circumstances would they refuse or send heavily redacted?

I think they are worried about a discrimination claim. I didn’t make it clear in my first message but I told them about my husbands condition, and I told them how my son worries and gets anxious about his dad. Two months later my husbands been extradited and my sons anxiety is now a safeguarding concern, despite all the medical help both of them get, plus support from me and other family members.

I hope you can help on these points,

Kind regards,

[KatKat10]

NewMouse, that is a positive outcome that the SS have closed the case. Pursue your complaint with the school and I hope they are held to account.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear NewMouse 222

Thank you for your further post. I am glad that my response helped and provided some reassurance. It is good to hear that social workers are ending their involvement as they have no concerns.

You are now proceeding with a complaint against the school and have some queries in relation to this.

Unfortunately, we are not able to advise on this as we do not have expertise in education-related issues but also as we are only able to provide advice on children’s services’ in England. I see from your recent post that you live in a different country so you are outside of our remit.

We have some information about useful services in your area which may be able to help. If not, your CAB may be able to signpost you to the best advice service for you, Please scroll to the end of this useful links page for further information.

I am sorry that we cannot assist further but hope that you find a resolution to your concerns. I hope that you and your family are able to move forward.

Best wishes

Suzie