Any success stories regarding getting a partner back home.?

[Silvecloud111]

I would just like to know if any other mothers here had any success in being able to get their partner back home after an allegation was disproved. It seems like the system is heavily reliant on probability meaning many families break up due to the possibility of something happening rather than fact.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Silvecloud111

Thank you for your further post.

Hopefully another mother will respond to your query with some feedback and advice from their experience.

I can understand that it is difficult when a partner is required to move out due to an allegation and you are unsure what will happen or if it will be considered safe for your children for them to return.

As children’s services are currently involved with your family they will be looking at your children’s particular needs and your partner’s behaviour or alleged behaviour. So the outcome of the assessment will be specific to your situation. It may also depend on what is meant by an allegation being disproved i.e. if not substantiated or not enough evidence for the police to proceed.

You are right that children’s services focus on the balance of probability. But their response should always be reasonable and proportionate too. They should work in partnership with you.

Please post back if you have a further query or you contact the advice service by:

Calling our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

Using our advice webchat;

Emailing via our advice enquiry form.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Silvecloud111]

Thank you suzie. In regards to a disproved allegation, I mean by an nfa by the police but also when a child states that they made it up. I'm not sure if they still decide on guilt if the child in particular is saying they only said it because they were upset about something unrelated. I was unsure how they would approach a decision in this circumstance. Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Silvecloud111

Thank you for your further post. I think it would be helpful to clarify for you that the police making a no further action (NFA) decision will not prevent children’s services from continuing with their own investigation/assessment. The police decision means only that they do not consider there is sufficient evidence for a successful prosecution.
Children’s services and the police are looking at different things and as mentioned in the previous post, children’s services work on the balance of probability. For a criminal offence, it is to prove beyond reasonable doubt that the offence was committed.

Children’s services are concerned about safeguarding and therefore have to satisfy themselves whether a child is safe or they should offer support or pursue a case further. The fact that a child said something happened means children’s services must look at this and reach their own conclusion.

Please read the information HERE about children’s services.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[SussexMinTrouble]

We are in a not so dissimilar situation. The police investigation against me was dropped because there was no evidence (never was, I didn't do what was alleged), but we are still trapped by CS restrictions until I can be assessed. That said, I completely understand the need for CS to be cautious, as frustrating as it is they need to be sure the kids are safe and we just have to comply with them.

What I find deeply distressing is the verbiage and rhetoric around it all - the literature from CS is geared around men being found guilty of a crime, there doesn't seem to be any allowances or understanding that someone completely innocent can be caught up in this. Similarly the common language used above (not enough evidence) still implies something dodgy going on but not enough to pursue criminal charges and is not at all helpful (although I appreciate it's the official line).

Frustrating, just hope it can be over soon for the both of us so we can start to heal and get back to some sort of normality.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear SussexMinTrouble

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post.

I am sorry to hear that your situation is still ongoing. I can understand how frustrating and difficult this can be. You are aware of why children’s services act cautiously in order to protect children. You state that you are complying with the restrictions in place. I think they may be about you not having any unsupervised contact with your children and probably that you should not live in the family home with your children.

As the police investigation has concluded due to lack of evidence, the current delay is children’s services to complete a risk assessment. Have you been given a timescale for when this will be done? If you haven’t, you could write to your children’s social worker, copying in their manager, confirming that you are ready to cooperate with an assessment and asking that they provide you with the details of when this will happen, who will do the assessment and how long it is expected to take. These are very reasonable questions to ask. Children’s services’ processes must be fair and proportionate.

If you have not been provided with an update about the assessment or do not receive a response to your enquiry, then you can consider making a complaint. You can find out how to so here.

I can see that the language used in these situations matters. Children’s services and the family court work on the balance of probability . Their focus is on assessments, risk, protective capacity and safety planning. And as you point out the police and criminal justice system also have language specific to their remit. Families can be impacted by the language used, as you suggest. This highlights the complexities involved in these situations.

Please post back on this forum if you have any queries. If you prefer you can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), or use our webchat or advice enquiry form.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Silvecloud111]

We are in a not so dissimilar situation. The police investigation against me was dropped because there was no evidence (never was, I didn't do what was alleged), but we are still trapped by CS restrictions until I can be assessed. That said, I completely understand the need for CS to be cautious, as frustrating as it is they need to be sure the kids are safe and we just have to comply with them.

What I find deeply distressing is the verbiage and rhetoric around it all - the literature from CS is geared around men being found guilty of a crime, there doesn't seem to be any allowances or understanding that someone completely innocent can be caught up in this. Similarly the common language used above (not enough evidence) still implies something dodgy going on but not enough to pursue criminal charges and is not at all helpful (although I appreciate it's the official line).

Frustrating, just hope it can be over soon for the both of us so we can start to heal and get back to some sort of normality.

I do hope your situation improves and I feel very sorry for all the men who have to go through this of they haven't done anything wrong. I recently heard from the social worker who said we can now take gradual steps to introduce partner back into the home, however we will not be living together. We are also on a child in need plan so I'm not sure if that made a difference. We were in a similar situation, partner was asked to leave home and keep away other than an hour contact supervised in community. They say now the police have given nfa we can start to look at coming back to the home again. But there will be a safety plan in place. Please don't lose hope, it's very draining and heartbreaking waiting and waiting but she said they do this because they cannot take any chances.

[Silvecloud111]

To be honest they are now mainly focused on my parenting and my children's behaviour. Which does need some improvement. I hope you manage to get the assessments needed and if it's taking too long could you request it could happen quicker? Suzie might be more experienced to answer this.

[LJC1980]

Hello,
My partner was accused by his daughter a historic offense. She has made things up before. It was Nfa. Social swrvices put my daughter on CIN plan and even now its been a month since nfa they are preventing him from coming home, going on holiday with us etc. My daughter is 14 and has told them she has never felt uncomfortable or had any issues. The social worker is really rude and I dont think she acts professionally at all.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LJC1980

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie; online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post today.

I am sorry that you are experiencing difficulties with children’s services involvement following a report of historical abuse made against your partner. The police are taking no further action but your 14 year old daughter is on a child in need plan (CIN) and your partner is being prevented from returning home.

Whilst the police may have closed their case by taking no further action (NFA), this does not mean that children’s services will not continue to be involved. The reason for this is that the police and children’s services are looking at different aspects of the matter. The police is looking for evidence which would lead to a successful prosecution and the test for criminal matters is ‘beyond reasonable doubt’. Children’s services on the other hand is concerned about ensuring a child is safe in their environment and the test in civil matters is ‘on the balance of probabilities’.

It may be that children’s services take the view there was not enough evidence for the police but does not mean the allegations should not be considered or believed. As your daughter is on CIN it suggests that there are no safeguarding concerns. However, they may have decided that a risk assessment needs to be carried out before your partner is able to return home. I suggest you ask in writing what steps children’s services are planning to take or for you to do before they are satisfied, he can return home. Ask for a written response.
Here is information about what should happen when children’s services receive a referral and child in need

You may find it helpful to contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation’s Parents Protect on 0808 100 0900. They can offer you advice as it is important that children’s services see you as a protective parent and not someone who is trying to minimize or give justification on your partner’s behalf.

The social worker, you say, is rude and unprofessional. I suggest you discuss your concerns with the social worker and then the manager. You can complain to his or her team manager. The governing body for social workers is Social Work England and you can make a complaint if you believe the social worker is unprofessional.

If you want to discuss this more, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366 to speak with one of our experienced advisers. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays). You can also contact us via our website using the web enquiry form or webchat.

Hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie