Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hello, im new to this and am really struggling with what to do or how to get help. To reduce confusion i will be referring to the children as letters of alphabet otherwise this is going to get complicated.

My brother has 3 children A (from previous relationship), B (6) & C (4) with his Wife. 2 weeks ago my oldest Nephew A (aged 13) was arrested and bailed (court Oct) due to my youngest nephew C disclosing sexual abuse by A. My brother and his wife did everything (took him to police, referred themselves to social care, etc) my brother left the house with A due to his bail conditions meaning he could not have unsupervised contact with under 16's. Social care had a strat and started a C&F assessment. My Brother struggled to find anywhere to live (all our family have young children) to the point he was staying in his car with A. Social care said we had to explore all family options. We have explored them all and there are no viable options due to family having young children, health issues or refusing due to A's alleged offences. a younger female cousin has now also disclosed sexual abuse from A. (he has been further arrested and bailed for this)

After exploring all options my brother asked that A is Section 20 accommodated to allow him to receive the therapeutic support he desperately needs, to provide stability (they haven't stayed in 1 place for more than 2 days) and to allow my Brother to support his whole family until his court date. Social care have refused to offer any support to my brother, A or his younger children. Social care have just told us that my brother will have to return home with A and live in the family home with B,C and his wife. They have to supervise A around the children at all times (even said they will have to sleep in the children's rooms to reduce the risk to the B &C). My brother works away 4 days a week and is unable to change this in any way.

Bit of back ground A has significant trauma from childhood abuse from mum. My brother has always been in A's life but due to working away he was unable to get full custody at court. A was known to social care for 2 years due to concerns around neglect and abuse from mum and her husband, My brother only found this out when A was removed from mum's home aged 4 under police protection and got a call from them asking him to look after A, my brother immediately collected him and he has been in his care since. Mum has not had contact with A for over 4 years. Turns out mum told social care my brother was not in the picture and they didn't dig any deeper. (my brother was travelling over 300 miles 4 times a month to see A and paid child support throughout all of this, anytime we raised worries it was put down as malicious.

A has displayed worrying/harmful behaviours from being young and my brother has tried to ask for support around this from various services to try and get A the professional help he needs to deal with his past trauma, school have helped but no one else.

Social care are point blank refusing to accommodate A under section 20 so he can receive the support he needs and hopefully start to build back relationships and trust with his family and understand why he has done this and what help he needs to reduce his risk of further harm to other children. The options social care suggested to keep A in the family network are unsafe, putting other children at risk (when we don't know A's risk ) and not viable. One suggestion was that he lives with my older sister who is a single mum to a 4-month old baby because "she is a baby and so will mostly be supervised by mum". Social care manager have stated they would be able to risk asses this and deem it appropriate!

My brother has put in a complaint, gone to the Director of children's and when we speak to Solicitors they seem unsure what they can do. My brother's mental health is a concern as he cannot see a solution, he cannot live away from his family with A as he is the main income source and cannot afford it, he wants to support all of his children through this but is being told he has to put A first. He is at the point of saying he will drop A off at social care and relinquish is PR (even when he said this he broke down saying he doesn't want to have to do this and cause A more trauma but if this is what he has to do to get A the support then he will.

Any help or advise on where we go on the decision social care are making would be great.

Dear Annon56789

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am very sorry to hear about the very difficult situation your brother and his family are in. It must be very distressing for all the children and adults involved.

I will respond to your query here on the parents’ forum today but if you would like to post again please would you use the kinship carers’ forum which is a specialist forum for relatives.

I understand that children’s services are currently involved and are undertaking what I assume to be a child protection investigation. This is due to allegations that your 13 year old nephew, A, has sexually harmed both his younger brother and a younger female cousin. The police are conducting a criminal investigation. Your nephew is subject to bail conditions which mean he cannot have unsupervised contact with children under 16.

Your post raises a number of issues which I will try to respond to:

1) Allegations of sexually harmful behaviour from one child to another.

This is a very difficult issue for a family to contend with, as you have described. Both the child who is the alleged perpetrator and the alleged victims are children and their needs and wellbeing as children must be prioritised, alongside the statutory procedures. The response should involve the whole family and include safety planning, risk assessment and support . Your family may find information/ advice from the following services helpful: Parents Protect, NSPCC , Stop It Now and MOSAC.

2) Current arrangements/proposed safety plan

You state that your brother and his son have been moving around since A was arrested and bailed and have at times slept in the car. It is not ok for a child to have to sleep in a car. Other family members have young children and are unable to allow them to stay. Children’s services propose that A and his father return to the family home with parents supervising A around his siblings full-time. The parents view this and alternative family arrangements as not safe, practical or in the children’s best interests. Your brother has made a complaint to children’s services. This is the right thing for a parent to do when they are very unhappy with a decision or plan made by children’s services. Your brother can pursue his complaint via the complaints process which you can find out more about here. Contacting the Director of Children’s Service is also a way of making a complaint. They should respond to your brother promptly.

3) Request for S20 voluntary accommodation

Children’s services have refused your brother’s request for his son to be voluntarily accommodated under section 20 . If your brother feels that this is the best option at the moment and wants to challenge children’s services’ decision he should ask the social worker to provide a written copy of their assessment in relation to his request, with reasons for refusing. Children’s services may highlight the difficulties in finding a suitable foster placement, that there can be disadvantages for children in entering the care system and why they believe it may not be in the child’s best interests. Decisions should always be made based on what is best for the child. Your brother and his wife should consider children’s services’ response.

If arguing for section 20 your brother may find it useful to refer to the following situation when children’s services can accommodate a child:

When the person who usually cares for them is unable to provide them with a suitable place to live or care, for whatever reason; (see section 20(1)

Other situations where section 20 accommodation can be considered include:
• Serious difficulties in a young person’s relationship with their family
• A family is struggling, and a voluntary arrangement would help prevent a crisis

You can find out fuller information about section 20 here. You state that your brother has spoken to solicitors. It is important that he understands what is involved in placing a child in voluntary foster care and that he gets legal advice as needed. Parents do not lose their parental responsibility(PR) if their child is accommodated under section 20; children’s services only acquire parental responsibility if they obtain a court order for the child.

Your nephew’s mother continues to have PR, even though she is not currently in contact with him, and children’s services should involve her too.

Your family may be offered a family group conference to consider how to best support the children involved. You can find out more here.

4) Therapeutic support.

This may be very important for everyone affected including A, C and their cousin. Your brother can query what is suggested and what will be offered. However, as there is an ongoing police investigation this may impact. He should ask what the current thinking and options are for this type of help to be offered.

5) Your brother’s mental health

It is understandable that your brother is struggling emotionally with the current situation and the uncertainties his family is facing. He may wish to access support from his GP or any of the service listed here. In addition, Family Action provide listening support and telephone counselling to parents dealing with difficult circumstances. It would be good for him to access some emotional support for himself to sustain him during these challenges.

I hope this has been helpful. If you or your brother need any further advcie then please post again on our online forums, call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays) or use our advice enquiry or webchat.

I hope that your family get the right support.

Best wishes


Suzie