I’ll try to keep this as short as I can. My son is under an SGO since 2019 (18 months old) with paternal grandmother, due to injuries that were eventually ruled non accidental in court (bruised& swollen lip) I was asleep and woke up to my son screaming, it was only me & my ex partner in the house at the time and he wasn’t in the bed with me. At first everyone including ambulance staff thought he had just bumped his lip off his cot but eventually ruled NAI - my ex partner didn’t attend court so I remained within pool and I agreed to SGO.
At first contact was great I was invited around, we communicated daily about my son and had fortnightly contact with extras. After Covid things changed dramatically and things got more hostile and I’m unsure of why, I have spent the last few years trying to improve things with paternal GM, ask what can be done to improve things with her being comfortable, I’m just told she no longer trusts me but I’m unaware of why and I’m not given any chance to fix this.
Contact has been supervised and anytime I’m asking for improvements or to speak things are restricted further I’m also met with a lot of insults and foul language - we are now at contact once a month for an hour and I get a weekly update and pictures.
I’m 6 months pregnant and due in May, I have already applied for mediation 3 times to which grandmother has refused. She has also expressed not thinking contact between my son and my son due in May being important, and always refers to him as his ‘half brother’. With currently contact once a month I face a hard choice of him seeing his brother less (6 times a year) or affecting our 1-1 quality time, neither of which I think is the right solution. I think this isn’t right and they should be allowed to have increased contact to establish a bond - sibling relationships are so important and I don’t see why she would not be encouraging this. My son is constantly kissing my bump and talking about and to the baby and telling him in my belly that he loves him.
I’m currently having a pre birth assessment for my unborn son and SS have told me they don’t have any concerns but will probably go on a plan due to the circumstances with my son under SGO. My SW is going to speak to Paternal grandmother which really concerns me as she clearly doesn’t like me and has very strong opinions.
My plan is to return to court however I’m unsure what to apply for - the SGO was a joint SGO but they have split and divorced is this reason to vary the SGO as I don’t believe it’s right he (non related and was married to paternal gm) has overriding PR of my son. However I also need to ask for something for contact, can I vary the SGO and ask for contact at the same time? Overwise applying for Contact arrangements order is going to be a lot of money I will be self representing but will pay for a barrister to represent me in court - especially as I’m expecting GM to not agree and this will lead to many hearings.
However I’m aware you can get legal aid to vary an SGO.
Additionally after the contact has increased I will be returning after this has been in place for a while to discharged the SGO, I have made massive improvements I work full time, I have a home( in a much safer area than GM), in therapy, completed DV & parenting courses and have been in a healthy relationship for years. My son under SGO is currently 6, I’m hoping by 7 he will be back home with me. Does this seem likely especially if I have full custody of a then nearly 1 year old.
SGO contact issues and new baby.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: SGO contact issues and new baby.
Dear Calico
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you are keeping well.
You are having a pre-birth assessment for your unborn baby . Please see our detailed advice on pre-birth assessments here.
You have explained that the reason for the assessment of your unborn child’s needs is that your older child is not in your care. He lives with his paternal grandmother under a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) . The SGO was made as you remain in the pool of perpetrators for non-accidental injuries to your son. The fact that you were part of a household where a child suffered injury, cannot be ignored, and will need to be considered as part of a careful assessment of your current circumstances. You reasonably expect a plan to be made for the baby in view of the non-accidental injury history as described. From what you say, there are no other concerns currently. You have moved forward with your life, undertaken several specialist courses, had therapy, have a job, a home and a partner with whom you have a long-standing healthy relationship. It is good to hear that your situation is positive.
You are hoping to improve the contact arrangements that you currently have with your son and also intending to apply to end the Special Guardianship Order in the future. I am sorry to hear that your son’s Special Guardian has refused mediation and is not positive about promoting the relationship between the child she is caring for and your baby when he is born. Sibling contact and relationships are important, as you say. It is a shame that she is not agreeing to mediation which means you will have to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order if you are wanting the court to consider specify the arrangements for you to see your son.
You are wondering whether to apply to vary the SGO as the paternal grandmother and her husband have divorced but he retains parental responsibility for your son. I do not think this is a viable option. You would have no automatic right to apply to vary it. You would have to ask the court’s permission and to clarify the basis for applying. Also, the male Special Guardian is likely to have an established relationship with your son and so it may not be in your son’s best interests for this to change. Divorce does not necessarily result in court orders being varied. If either of the Special Guardians wanted to change the SGO they could apply to vary it.
It may be better for you to focus on the contact arrangements for you and your son as a priority. However, as these are private law matters, you may wish to seek specific advice or get further information from one of the following:
Child Law Advice
Rights of Women
Advice Now
As you may be a litigant in person, you may be able to get some practical and procedural help (but not legal advice) from Support through court .
There is no automatic legal aid to apply to vary or discharge a SGO, it is means and merit tested.
You are hoping to care for both your unborn baby when they are born and a year or so later to successfully end the SGO and have your older son returned home to your care.
You are wondering how likely this is.
We cannot predict the outcome of your pre-birth assessment or any future plans that may be put in place for the baby. Nor can we say what decision a judge might make. You are cooperating with children’s services in relation to the pre-birth assessment. It is best to continue to do so when completed and a further plan is made. You should seek further advice in relation to children’s services’ involvement as this progresses. You would need the court’s permission to apply to end the SGO. The court would need to be satisfied that:
There has been a “significant change of circumstances” since the SGO was made and that there is a chance that the application to end the order will be successful, and it is in the child’s best interests for the application to be heard.
The issue of you being in the pool of perpetrators in relation to your son’s injuries remains.
The best thing to do at present may be to work with all the professionals currently involved, continue to focus on getting the best contact arrangements you can with your son and seek specific legal advice when needed, and when the recommended plan for your unborn baby is clearer.
I hope this helps.
If you need any further advice please post back, call our freephone advcie line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), use our advice enquiry or webchat facility.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you are keeping well.
You are having a pre-birth assessment for your unborn baby . Please see our detailed advice on pre-birth assessments here.
You have explained that the reason for the assessment of your unborn child’s needs is that your older child is not in your care. He lives with his paternal grandmother under a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) . The SGO was made as you remain in the pool of perpetrators for non-accidental injuries to your son. The fact that you were part of a household where a child suffered injury, cannot be ignored, and will need to be considered as part of a careful assessment of your current circumstances. You reasonably expect a plan to be made for the baby in view of the non-accidental injury history as described. From what you say, there are no other concerns currently. You have moved forward with your life, undertaken several specialist courses, had therapy, have a job, a home and a partner with whom you have a long-standing healthy relationship. It is good to hear that your situation is positive.
You are hoping to improve the contact arrangements that you currently have with your son and also intending to apply to end the Special Guardianship Order in the future. I am sorry to hear that your son’s Special Guardian has refused mediation and is not positive about promoting the relationship between the child she is caring for and your baby when he is born. Sibling contact and relationships are important, as you say. It is a shame that she is not agreeing to mediation which means you will have to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order if you are wanting the court to consider specify the arrangements for you to see your son.
You are wondering whether to apply to vary the SGO as the paternal grandmother and her husband have divorced but he retains parental responsibility for your son. I do not think this is a viable option. You would have no automatic right to apply to vary it. You would have to ask the court’s permission and to clarify the basis for applying. Also, the male Special Guardian is likely to have an established relationship with your son and so it may not be in your son’s best interests for this to change. Divorce does not necessarily result in court orders being varied. If either of the Special Guardians wanted to change the SGO they could apply to vary it.
It may be better for you to focus on the contact arrangements for you and your son as a priority. However, as these are private law matters, you may wish to seek specific advice or get further information from one of the following:
Child Law Advice
Rights of Women
Advice Now
As you may be a litigant in person, you may be able to get some practical and procedural help (but not legal advice) from Support through court .
There is no automatic legal aid to apply to vary or discharge a SGO, it is means and merit tested.
You are hoping to care for both your unborn baby when they are born and a year or so later to successfully end the SGO and have your older son returned home to your care.
You are wondering how likely this is.
We cannot predict the outcome of your pre-birth assessment or any future plans that may be put in place for the baby. Nor can we say what decision a judge might make. You are cooperating with children’s services in relation to the pre-birth assessment. It is best to continue to do so when completed and a further plan is made. You should seek further advice in relation to children’s services’ involvement as this progresses. You would need the court’s permission to apply to end the SGO. The court would need to be satisfied that:
There has been a “significant change of circumstances” since the SGO was made and that there is a chance that the application to end the order will be successful, and it is in the child’s best interests for the application to be heard.
The issue of you being in the pool of perpetrators in relation to your son’s injuries remains.
The best thing to do at present may be to work with all the professionals currently involved, continue to focus on getting the best contact arrangements you can with your son and seek specific legal advice when needed, and when the recommended plan for your unborn baby is clearer.
I hope this helps.
If you need any further advice please post back, call our freephone advcie line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), use our advice enquiry or webchat facility.
Best wishes
Suzie
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