I have a 2 year old daughter who was removed from me October 2023. She was placed with my Mum who was granted an SGO in May this year. I have a lot of contact with her and would like eventually to get her back.
I have just found out that I’m expecting another baby and I don’t know what I need to do. I really want to keep this one and my Mum has already said that she doesn’t think she could take on another baby.
Should I let children’s services know now. Will they do another assessment. Can I ask for a mother and baby assessment placement. I’m really worried that they will take the baby as soon as it is born and I don’t know how to show them that I’m prepared to work with them this time.
I have mental health problems and I wasn’t well when my daughter was first born, I didn’t see that there were any problems and didn’t work well with the social workers to make any changes.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Expecting new baby. Advice needed please
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Expecting new baby. Advice needed please
Dear South2015,
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I hope that the following advice and information is helpful to you. You can click on the hyperlinks to take you to useful webpages and information.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. I understand though that this is causing you a lot of anxiety because your daughter was removed from your care last year.
You ask if you should let children’s services know. Yes – it would be a good idea to let them know as soon as possible and yes, they will want to do another assessment. The earlier children’s services know about your pregnancy the more time they will have to work with you. This will give you more time and opportunity to show them that you are willing to work with them this time and to hopefully demonstrate that you can keep your baby safe in your care. Sometimes when people are in your situation they try to avoid telling children’s services, but this will make the situation worse as it suggests that you’re not willing to work with them.
Children’s services will carry out a pre-birth assessment. This assessment will aim to find out whether the baby will be safe in your care and whether there is any additional support you might need. You can look at our parents to be page for more information about pre-birth assessments.
It is really positive that you now know that you didn’t work well with children’s services previously and that you can now see that you were unwell. It is important that you acknowledge this with children’s services, as this shows that you have a good understanding why your daughter was removed from your care. This means that you are more likely to be able to care safely for the baby. The best way that you can show children’s services that you are prepared to work with them this time is to tell them about the pregnancy as soon as possible and to tell them that you want to work with them this time and that you will be open and honest with them. Our webpage HERE will be helpful for you to read as it has advice for people expecting a baby after they have had a child removed.
You ask if you can request a mother and baby assessment placement. Children’s services should firstly complete the pre-birth assessment before the baby is born. If they have concerns about whether the baby can stay in your care then it is certainly possible for them to suggest a mother and baby placement and you can tell the social worker from the beginning that you would be willing to do this.
Was there anything that children’s services advised you to do during the last care proceedings process? For example did they advise you to have any therapy, or take part in any parenting courses? If so then I would suggest that you look into doing these things as soon as you can. You may have already done so of course. If you are doing things like having regular therapy or have completed parenting courses, then this will show that you are working to make the changes you need to keep your baby safe.
Finally, it is also very important that you work well with health services during your pregnancy. This would include attending all your midwife and GP appointments, working with the perinatal mental health team (if necessary) and any other services that are important in keeping you and your baby safe and well.
I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further questions or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat and advice enquiry form.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I hope that the following advice and information is helpful to you. You can click on the hyperlinks to take you to useful webpages and information.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. I understand though that this is causing you a lot of anxiety because your daughter was removed from your care last year.
You ask if you should let children’s services know. Yes – it would be a good idea to let them know as soon as possible and yes, they will want to do another assessment. The earlier children’s services know about your pregnancy the more time they will have to work with you. This will give you more time and opportunity to show them that you are willing to work with them this time and to hopefully demonstrate that you can keep your baby safe in your care. Sometimes when people are in your situation they try to avoid telling children’s services, but this will make the situation worse as it suggests that you’re not willing to work with them.
Children’s services will carry out a pre-birth assessment. This assessment will aim to find out whether the baby will be safe in your care and whether there is any additional support you might need. You can look at our parents to be page for more information about pre-birth assessments.
It is really positive that you now know that you didn’t work well with children’s services previously and that you can now see that you were unwell. It is important that you acknowledge this with children’s services, as this shows that you have a good understanding why your daughter was removed from your care. This means that you are more likely to be able to care safely for the baby. The best way that you can show children’s services that you are prepared to work with them this time is to tell them about the pregnancy as soon as possible and to tell them that you want to work with them this time and that you will be open and honest with them. Our webpage HERE will be helpful for you to read as it has advice for people expecting a baby after they have had a child removed.
You ask if you can request a mother and baby assessment placement. Children’s services should firstly complete the pre-birth assessment before the baby is born. If they have concerns about whether the baby can stay in your care then it is certainly possible for them to suggest a mother and baby placement and you can tell the social worker from the beginning that you would be willing to do this.
Was there anything that children’s services advised you to do during the last care proceedings process? For example did they advise you to have any therapy, or take part in any parenting courses? If so then I would suggest that you look into doing these things as soon as you can. You may have already done so of course. If you are doing things like having regular therapy or have completed parenting courses, then this will show that you are working to make the changes you need to keep your baby safe.
Finally, it is also very important that you work well with health services during your pregnancy. This would include attending all your midwife and GP appointments, working with the perinatal mental health team (if necessary) and any other services that are important in keeping you and your baby safe and well.
I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further questions or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat and advice enquiry form.
Best wishes,
Suzie
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