Hi my 2 children got removed in February 2024 and placed in long term care in august 2024 because of my mental health struggles after loosing their dad and my partner of 10 years. In the past year I’ve done 8 courses around my mental health, 7 courses around my parenting, bereavement councilling, triple p programme, DBT, emdr therapy. I’ve been discharged by my CPN because she classes me as stable, discharged from adult social care so no longer have carers. I’ve also been abstinent from alcohol since New Year’s Eve 2023. My psychological assessment for court said she recommends DBT, emdr and attachment based work before I can have the kids in my care. The foster carers are awful and are trying to get my contact reduced by saying the kids are tearful when they return from seeing me. I feel they are deliberately trying to trigger me and are trying to get me out the picture so adoption is easy. The carers have also been discussing my situation with other people. I see my children once a fortnight for 5hrs unsupervised. What are the chances of reunification? At the last LAC review I’m sure social services said they were going for permancy. Can I ask for increased contact and will I ever get my children overnight or atleast be able to have them back to the house? I’m so scared they are going to go up for adoption, how likely would this be granted if I’ve done everything and more of what’s been asked of me? Before my partner died I had 35yrs of stability and wasn’t known to children’s services or the mental health services. Would paying for a court approved psychological report make a difference to show I’m mentally well?
Any help would be appreciated as I’m so scared right now
Help with reunification
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Help with reunification
Dear Lilypad
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you have experienced. I am sorry to hear about your bereavement, the mental health struggles you have had and that your two children are now in foster care. You describe all the positive steps you have taken to improve your mental wellbeing, enhance your parenting, and remain abstinent. Well done for completing these programmes and making considerable changes in your life while also contending with court proceedings.
You would like the children to return to your care ultimately but prior to that to have the children stay overnight or visit the family home. You are very worried about the possibility that the children may be adopted. You are also concerned that the foster carers are raising concerns that the children are tearful after contact and that they are discussing your situation with other people.
I am not clear if the care proceedings for the children have ended. You say that they were placed in long-term foster care in August. But you are worried about the risk that they may make a plan for adoption. Only the court can order that children can be placed for adoption if they make a Placement Order. Adoption is a ‘last resort.’ If you are still in care proceedings, then both the social worker and your solicitor should inform you if this is being considered. You don’t say how old your children are which is another relevant factor as adoption is seldom agreed for older children. Please see our advice here about what happens when adoption is being considered as a plan for children.
If your children’s case is ongoing, in care proceedings, then please raise all your queries with your solicitor and ask them to meet with you to update you about the children’s situation. Please see our guide to working with a solicitor for tips about getting the best from your working relationship with your solicitor. Your solicitor is best placed to advise you what the likelihood of the children returning home is. The recommendations made by the psychologist are relevant here. It sounds that they are recommending that you complete specific therapy before a return home is considered.
However, if the case has now ended then I hope that the following advice will be helpful.
At the end of care proceeding, the court can make a final care order. In this situation, the most important thing for you to do is to maintain all the progress that you have made and continue to work closely with children’s services. Adoption is unlikely to be considered if care proceedings have already been completed and it was not put forward then, also if long-term fostering has already been agreed.
You can ask the social worker to meet with you to discuss your current contact arrangements including the concerns raised by the foster carers. You can let the social worker know your views about how the children are finding the time they spend with you and consider if any changes are needed. Contact is always about the children’s needs so if it is impacting on them negatively the social worker must consider how to address this, but they will take account of your views too.
You can also discuss your aim of moving contact forward with the social worker and the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) as part of the Looked After Children (LAC) reviewing process.
As you are worried that the foster carers are discussing your situation with others, you should let the social worker know and ask them to look into this on your behalf. Foster carers must liaise with professionals when caring for children but must be sensitive to your and the children’s personal information. So, it is best if you explain why and what you are worried about to the social worker. The foster carers are supervised by a fostering social worker who monitors and support them as carers. They can check out what is happening.
The IRO considers at every LAC review if the current care plan for the children continues to be right for them. If you can successfully follow the recommendations made in court assessments, if you continue to do well and contact progresses then you can formally ask children’s services to undertake a reunification assessment.
Please see these advice resources on children in care under a court order as they explain more about these processes.
It is also possible to consider applying to the court to end a care order (please see here for more details), although not immediately after court proceedings have ended. There must be sufficient time to demonstrate that you have made significant changes; the threshold to end a care order is high. The court can direct that you have a further psychological assessment if necessary.
I hope this helps. You can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm if you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser. If you post back, please clarify if you are still in care proceedings or if the court process has ended. Alternatively, you can send an advice enquiry or use webchat.
You can find links to useful services who offer emotional support and parenting advice and support here.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you have experienced. I am sorry to hear about your bereavement, the mental health struggles you have had and that your two children are now in foster care. You describe all the positive steps you have taken to improve your mental wellbeing, enhance your parenting, and remain abstinent. Well done for completing these programmes and making considerable changes in your life while also contending with court proceedings.
You would like the children to return to your care ultimately but prior to that to have the children stay overnight or visit the family home. You are very worried about the possibility that the children may be adopted. You are also concerned that the foster carers are raising concerns that the children are tearful after contact and that they are discussing your situation with other people.
I am not clear if the care proceedings for the children have ended. You say that they were placed in long-term foster care in August. But you are worried about the risk that they may make a plan for adoption. Only the court can order that children can be placed for adoption if they make a Placement Order. Adoption is a ‘last resort.’ If you are still in care proceedings, then both the social worker and your solicitor should inform you if this is being considered. You don’t say how old your children are which is another relevant factor as adoption is seldom agreed for older children. Please see our advice here about what happens when adoption is being considered as a plan for children.
If your children’s case is ongoing, in care proceedings, then please raise all your queries with your solicitor and ask them to meet with you to update you about the children’s situation. Please see our guide to working with a solicitor for tips about getting the best from your working relationship with your solicitor. Your solicitor is best placed to advise you what the likelihood of the children returning home is. The recommendations made by the psychologist are relevant here. It sounds that they are recommending that you complete specific therapy before a return home is considered.
However, if the case has now ended then I hope that the following advice will be helpful.
At the end of care proceeding, the court can make a final care order. In this situation, the most important thing for you to do is to maintain all the progress that you have made and continue to work closely with children’s services. Adoption is unlikely to be considered if care proceedings have already been completed and it was not put forward then, also if long-term fostering has already been agreed.
You can ask the social worker to meet with you to discuss your current contact arrangements including the concerns raised by the foster carers. You can let the social worker know your views about how the children are finding the time they spend with you and consider if any changes are needed. Contact is always about the children’s needs so if it is impacting on them negatively the social worker must consider how to address this, but they will take account of your views too.
You can also discuss your aim of moving contact forward with the social worker and the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) as part of the Looked After Children (LAC) reviewing process.
As you are worried that the foster carers are discussing your situation with others, you should let the social worker know and ask them to look into this on your behalf. Foster carers must liaise with professionals when caring for children but must be sensitive to your and the children’s personal information. So, it is best if you explain why and what you are worried about to the social worker. The foster carers are supervised by a fostering social worker who monitors and support them as carers. They can check out what is happening.
The IRO considers at every LAC review if the current care plan for the children continues to be right for them. If you can successfully follow the recommendations made in court assessments, if you continue to do well and contact progresses then you can formally ask children’s services to undertake a reunification assessment.
Please see these advice resources on children in care under a court order as they explain more about these processes.
It is also possible to consider applying to the court to end a care order (please see here for more details), although not immediately after court proceedings have ended. There must be sufficient time to demonstrate that you have made significant changes; the threshold to end a care order is high. The court can direct that you have a further psychological assessment if necessary.
I hope this helps. You can call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm if you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser. If you post back, please clarify if you are still in care proceedings or if the court process has ended. Alternatively, you can send an advice enquiry or use webchat.
You can find links to useful services who offer emotional support and parenting advice and support here.
Best wishes
Suzie
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