We currently care for a 13-year-old girl who is the younger sister of my partner. She lives with us the majority of the time but spends one week plus five days per month with her sister. None of us in our household have parental responsibility, my partner has been under the impression he was her legal guardian, it’s only this month we found out that wasn’t the case. The only person with PR is her dad, who hasn’t seen her since she was 3 and is not engaging with Children’s Services. He already has other children who are currently on a Children in Need plan. There is no family willing to take her in and we cannot continue living like this while the social worker has 45 days to do the assessment. They’ve made it clear they aren’t there to remove her despite us saying that is what we want and need.
Her behaviours have been extremely challenging and unmanageable for a long time and we simply can’t give her what she needs. We have told them multiple safeguarding behaviours and incidents and they aren’t interested
We have reached the point where her placement with us has broken down and we have informed Children’s Services that we cannot continue caring for her multiple times. There is no plan for where she will go next. We have made a formal complaint to senior management at Children’s Services and our local MP about the handling of the case. The local mp has continued to push and still they do nothing
We spoke to an advisor and was told the only option is to take her to the Children’s service office and hand her to them. The social worker, director or children services and the family intervention worker have all been given a date and time of when this will happen, they refuse to confirm in writing that they have seen the emails and no plans have been made so it’s looking like we are going to have to follow through with that. We haven’t had contact with the social worker in nearly 2 weeks despite asking for urgent calls back and sending emails. Why are they allowed to do this? It was made very clear from day one she can not remain living with us and all they’ve turn is force us to keep her. It’s so unfair that we are going to have to take her there…
Placement breakdown/No PR
- Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 1114
- Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:25 pm
Re: Placement breakdown/No PR
Dear Water5
Welcome to the kinship carers’ forum. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
I am very sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. You explain that you have been caring for your partner’s 13-year-old sister; she also stays some of the time with her sister. Her father has parental responsibility for her but is not involved in her life. I understand that her mother is deceased.
You have raised concerns with children’s services about the child as her behaviour is extremely challenging, you mention that there have been many safeguarding behaviours and incidents and you are very clear that you are no longer able to continue caring for the child nor is anybody else in the family. I understand this to mean that her sister who cares for her part of the time is also saying that she can no longer do so.
You have notified children’s services of this and provided them with the specific date when you will intend to cease caring for the child. You are in a complaints process and have also contacted your MP and the Director of Children’s Services. Unfortunately, children’s services have not acknowledged your emails and have not put a plan in place for your partner’s sister.
If you have made an informed decision that you can no longer care for your partner’s sister and family members/friends are also unable to do so then the legal situation is clear – you have no parental responsibility for the child (if you haven’t got a court order for her) and therefore are not obliged to continue to care for her if you are no longer able to do so. If you could continue to care for her, with more support, then that is what children’s services should offer.
Children’s services could arrange a family group conference (FGC) to help plan and explore her network more thoroughly. Please see here for more information about FGCs. If she can stay within her family and friends’ network, then she should be supported to do so.
However, if you cannot care for the child any longer regardless of the support children’s services may offer then her father has parental responsibility and so children’s services will need to look to him to care for her or seek his consent to voluntarily accommodate her in unrelated foster care under section 20, if a kinship or connected carer foster placement cannot be found. A child in need plan for his other children would not necessarily mean that the child’s father cannot care for her. However, his lack of contact and support for her is more of a concern. Children’s services and the child’s father will need to take responsibility for ensuring that she is safely cared for.
As she is 13, the social worker should already be discussing with the child what her view of the situation is and what she would like to happen. This uncertainty about her future must be very worrying and scary for her.
Please see this advice about section 20 voluntary accommodation – as this is the legal route for the child to be placed with someone other than her father, as you are no longer able to be her carers.
One of the reasons that children’s services are likely to be very reluctant to consider accommodating the child is that being in care can also present risks especially for a vulnerable adolescent (e.g. exploitation) and that her challenging behaviours may get worse if she feels rejected or isolated.
As you are already in a complaints process, you can contact Complaints and children’s services’ management to let them know that the social worker has not been in touch recently despite your requests for urgent contact and to remind them that the deadline you have provided is approaching. I would encourage you to continue to pursue a response via all the routes that you have tried so that decisions for your partner’s sister can be made in a planned way rather than an emergency.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the kinship carers’ forum. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.
I am very sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. You explain that you have been caring for your partner’s 13-year-old sister; she also stays some of the time with her sister. Her father has parental responsibility for her but is not involved in her life. I understand that her mother is deceased.
You have raised concerns with children’s services about the child as her behaviour is extremely challenging, you mention that there have been many safeguarding behaviours and incidents and you are very clear that you are no longer able to continue caring for the child nor is anybody else in the family. I understand this to mean that her sister who cares for her part of the time is also saying that she can no longer do so.
You have notified children’s services of this and provided them with the specific date when you will intend to cease caring for the child. You are in a complaints process and have also contacted your MP and the Director of Children’s Services. Unfortunately, children’s services have not acknowledged your emails and have not put a plan in place for your partner’s sister.
If you have made an informed decision that you can no longer care for your partner’s sister and family members/friends are also unable to do so then the legal situation is clear – you have no parental responsibility for the child (if you haven’t got a court order for her) and therefore are not obliged to continue to care for her if you are no longer able to do so. If you could continue to care for her, with more support, then that is what children’s services should offer.
Children’s services could arrange a family group conference (FGC) to help plan and explore her network more thoroughly. Please see here for more information about FGCs. If she can stay within her family and friends’ network, then she should be supported to do so.
However, if you cannot care for the child any longer regardless of the support children’s services may offer then her father has parental responsibility and so children’s services will need to look to him to care for her or seek his consent to voluntarily accommodate her in unrelated foster care under section 20, if a kinship or connected carer foster placement cannot be found. A child in need plan for his other children would not necessarily mean that the child’s father cannot care for her. However, his lack of contact and support for her is more of a concern. Children’s services and the child’s father will need to take responsibility for ensuring that she is safely cared for.
As she is 13, the social worker should already be discussing with the child what her view of the situation is and what she would like to happen. This uncertainty about her future must be very worrying and scary for her.
Please see this advice about section 20 voluntary accommodation – as this is the legal route for the child to be placed with someone other than her father, as you are no longer able to be her carers.
One of the reasons that children’s services are likely to be very reluctant to consider accommodating the child is that being in care can also present risks especially for a vulnerable adolescent (e.g. exploitation) and that her challenging behaviours may get worse if she feels rejected or isolated.
As you are already in a complaints process, you can contact Complaints and children’s services’ management to let them know that the social worker has not been in touch recently despite your requests for urgent contact and to remind them that the deadline you have provided is approaching. I would encourage you to continue to pursue a response via all the routes that you have tried so that decisions for your partner’s sister can be made in a planned way rather than an emergency.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
Do you have 3 minutes to complete our evaluation form ? We would value your feedback on the kinship carers’ forum.
Who is online
In total there are 3 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 3 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 130 on Wed Oct 29, 2025 3:54 pm