Advice over formal complaint to LA please
Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2024 9:33 am
Hi there,
We have made a formal complaint to the LA for not considering that our child should have been looked at and not private arrangement. We have failed stage 2. The LAs argument is that because we had offered help and support and mum was talking privately to her social worker, saying that she did not want to care for her child, she did not want him anymore, wished for child to come to us, that it is a private arrangement. We were not privy to these private conversations and we were called into a meeting where the SW asked us to have him, not mum. I have written a brief timeline, could you advise me of whether this looks like private fostering or Looked after status please. Dec 17 - mum said to SW she didn’t want to care for child, no bond and didn’t love him. SW asked us to have him. We said no as could not care full time. Feb 18- mum fell out with us. We walked away from situation for ten weeks, as we felt that our help was masking mums neglect and emotional abuse of child. In the ten weeks, lots of Child in need
meetings, where SW planned to get us back involved as ‘we were good support to safeguard child’
During this time, mum’s mental health deteriorated and she had suicidal attempts. Child had challenging behaviour and presented at school, self harming, unkempt, dirty clothes, smelt of urine. May - SW telephoned us to arrange to come to our home. Two SWs visited our home and said mum not coping and can we help. They invited us to a Child in Need meeting. We began to help again.
June 25- CIN meeting held at school. Lots of discussion (90 minutes) about putting in strategies to help mum care for child at home.
Straight after CIN meeting, SW asked us to attend another meeting at her office. When we arrived, she was in a room with mum. SW spoke. Mum did not speak throughout meeting. She sobbed and went outside part way to smoke. SW said that mum had asked for child to be put into care and they had asked all family members to care but they said no. She said he would have to go into children's home if we said no, because of his challenging behaviour. We said yes. She said that she would try to get us funding and to keep any receipts. SW said to collect him on weekend was best for child. We had plans to go to London so said we could collect following weekend. We collected child on 8 July. 23 July- CIN meeting held at school. Mum not present. SW started talking we need to do a fostering assessment and mum needs to transfer benefits. We just followed her directions. She told us we had to report to council he was with us. I questioned that as thought council would know as she asked me to take him. 24 August - SW told me to supervise contact between mum and child. Under no circumstances child to be left with mother unsupervised as she had raged and threw chairs in SW office, threatened to take child from our care on a train and kill herself, she also divulged to SW that she was on bondage and torture sites and invited strange men to house for sex with child in next bedroom, 30 August- started fostering assessment. Mother refused to transfer benefits for 11weeks. Said it was her money. 10 September- CIN meeting. I handed my receipts in to SW. we had to buy everything as child could not bring any clothes or belongings from home as they were covered in pet excrement and urine. SW said no response for financial support as private arrangement. Headmaster said that he was not happy as Social care had encouraged this placement.
September - mother had another suicide attempt. October - mother took child from our care. Had child two days and SW and school learning mentor visited her home. Poor home conditions, pet excrement and urine, chaotic home environment, child had challenging behaviour and self harm, SW worker was knocked by dog and had to go to A and E for concussion. Mum said she was suicidal and was going to A and E. School learning mentor brought child to me, in a state. Child was extremely distressed and self harming. Mum never text/ called or came to collect. I text SW to inform her he was with me and I could keep him as long as needed in this emergency situation. SW telephoned me back and said keep him with you and don’t let anyone take him. There needs to be another meeting. October- CIN meeting- mother said she wanted child four days and no weekends but she wanted his benefits. SW said she could do three days, we have him four days and we apply for his benefits. Mum not happy. We were not happy with this shared agreement as we did not think it in his best interest. The plan failed as mum did not adhere to her days. Child deteriorated- self harming, unkempt and not washed at school on her days, child told school mum shouting and made up a song about killing his mum. Child hurting himself and others. Was excluded. SW had to attend mums house twice a day when Child was there due to poor parenting and home conditions. Towards week 3- mum declined any days so he was back full time with us. SW told us child not allowed to go to mums house as her mental health deteriorated and home conditions poor- dog and cat mess everywhere. August 2019- mum took child from our care against child’s wishes and took him to an unfamiliar town, in a house with people he did not know after living with us consistently for over a year and little contact with mum. She didn’t have his medication and refused to bring him home for his CAMHs appointment. Child distressed on phone and talking in baby language. SW refused to carry out a safe and well check and said it was a private arrangement. We had to apply to court for emergency CAO and PSO which was granted. SW did a section 7 report which was recommended he live with us. They are saying that there is nothing in case notes about mother asking for child to be put into care. It says that mum was saying to SW that she wanted child to go to us. It says many conversations around this and SW was giving her advice how to approach asking us to have him. It says her friend mentioned that we were thinking of having child full time. News to us! We still had all reasons that we could not care for him full time. Except that she never did ask us or discuss it with us. It was the SW that asked us after a 90 minute meeting discussing strategies to support mum to care for him. We were shocked when the SW asked us. We said yes because she said that he would have to go into a children’s home and likely be moved around because of his challenging behaviour. We didn’t want that for him. Surely the underlying message was that mum wanted to give up child. It was only her preference that he come to us?
We don’t know whether to take our complaint to stage 3 as we are very shocked that stage two was not upheld. Please advise if you can. I am so sorry for the length of this. Kind regards and thank you if you can help.
We have made a formal complaint to the LA for not considering that our child should have been looked at and not private arrangement. We have failed stage 2. The LAs argument is that because we had offered help and support and mum was talking privately to her social worker, saying that she did not want to care for her child, she did not want him anymore, wished for child to come to us, that it is a private arrangement. We were not privy to these private conversations and we were called into a meeting where the SW asked us to have him, not mum. I have written a brief timeline, could you advise me of whether this looks like private fostering or Looked after status please. Dec 17 - mum said to SW she didn’t want to care for child, no bond and didn’t love him. SW asked us to have him. We said no as could not care full time. Feb 18- mum fell out with us. We walked away from situation for ten weeks, as we felt that our help was masking mums neglect and emotional abuse of child. In the ten weeks, lots of Child in need
meetings, where SW planned to get us back involved as ‘we were good support to safeguard child’
During this time, mum’s mental health deteriorated and she had suicidal attempts. Child had challenging behaviour and presented at school, self harming, unkempt, dirty clothes, smelt of urine. May - SW telephoned us to arrange to come to our home. Two SWs visited our home and said mum not coping and can we help. They invited us to a Child in Need meeting. We began to help again.
June 25- CIN meeting held at school. Lots of discussion (90 minutes) about putting in strategies to help mum care for child at home.
Straight after CIN meeting, SW asked us to attend another meeting at her office. When we arrived, she was in a room with mum. SW spoke. Mum did not speak throughout meeting. She sobbed and went outside part way to smoke. SW said that mum had asked for child to be put into care and they had asked all family members to care but they said no. She said he would have to go into children's home if we said no, because of his challenging behaviour. We said yes. She said that she would try to get us funding and to keep any receipts. SW said to collect him on weekend was best for child. We had plans to go to London so said we could collect following weekend. We collected child on 8 July. 23 July- CIN meeting held at school. Mum not present. SW started talking we need to do a fostering assessment and mum needs to transfer benefits. We just followed her directions. She told us we had to report to council he was with us. I questioned that as thought council would know as she asked me to take him. 24 August - SW told me to supervise contact between mum and child. Under no circumstances child to be left with mother unsupervised as she had raged and threw chairs in SW office, threatened to take child from our care on a train and kill herself, she also divulged to SW that she was on bondage and torture sites and invited strange men to house for sex with child in next bedroom, 30 August- started fostering assessment. Mother refused to transfer benefits for 11weeks. Said it was her money. 10 September- CIN meeting. I handed my receipts in to SW. we had to buy everything as child could not bring any clothes or belongings from home as they were covered in pet excrement and urine. SW said no response for financial support as private arrangement. Headmaster said that he was not happy as Social care had encouraged this placement.
September - mother had another suicide attempt. October - mother took child from our care. Had child two days and SW and school learning mentor visited her home. Poor home conditions, pet excrement and urine, chaotic home environment, child had challenging behaviour and self harm, SW worker was knocked by dog and had to go to A and E for concussion. Mum said she was suicidal and was going to A and E. School learning mentor brought child to me, in a state. Child was extremely distressed and self harming. Mum never text/ called or came to collect. I text SW to inform her he was with me and I could keep him as long as needed in this emergency situation. SW telephoned me back and said keep him with you and don’t let anyone take him. There needs to be another meeting. October- CIN meeting- mother said she wanted child four days and no weekends but she wanted his benefits. SW said she could do three days, we have him four days and we apply for his benefits. Mum not happy. We were not happy with this shared agreement as we did not think it in his best interest. The plan failed as mum did not adhere to her days. Child deteriorated- self harming, unkempt and not washed at school on her days, child told school mum shouting and made up a song about killing his mum. Child hurting himself and others. Was excluded. SW had to attend mums house twice a day when Child was there due to poor parenting and home conditions. Towards week 3- mum declined any days so he was back full time with us. SW told us child not allowed to go to mums house as her mental health deteriorated and home conditions poor- dog and cat mess everywhere. August 2019- mum took child from our care against child’s wishes and took him to an unfamiliar town, in a house with people he did not know after living with us consistently for over a year and little contact with mum. She didn’t have his medication and refused to bring him home for his CAMHs appointment. Child distressed on phone and talking in baby language. SW refused to carry out a safe and well check and said it was a private arrangement. We had to apply to court for emergency CAO and PSO which was granted. SW did a section 7 report which was recommended he live with us. They are saying that there is nothing in case notes about mother asking for child to be put into care. It says that mum was saying to SW that she wanted child to go to us. It says many conversations around this and SW was giving her advice how to approach asking us to have him. It says her friend mentioned that we were thinking of having child full time. News to us! We still had all reasons that we could not care for him full time. Except that she never did ask us or discuss it with us. It was the SW that asked us after a 90 minute meeting discussing strategies to support mum to care for him. We were shocked when the SW asked us. We said yes because she said that he would have to go into a children’s home and likely be moved around because of his challenging behaviour. We didn’t want that for him. Surely the underlying message was that mum wanted to give up child. It was only her preference that he come to us?
We don’t know whether to take our complaint to stage 3 as we are very shocked that stage two was not upheld. Please advise if you can. I am so sorry for the length of this. Kind regards and thank you if you can help.
