Dear B457B457 wrote: Wed Oct 15, 2025 9:45 pm
My 14 year old child is being neglected at her dad's house , she went there 7 months ago from manipulation. I've had ongoing control for 5 years now since I left and social failed her last year as they didn't address it through behaviours learnt off her dad..they are saying go to court when dad needs parenting skills and stop alienation and I want see her now not no longer time. He did this to her older brother 3 years ago abd I had to go through court. He was 13. I have evidence of control through texts and since I've highlighted my concerns he has blocked her from communication.
Advice
Welcome to the board. I am Suzie, the online adviser at Family Rights Group, and I will be responding to the questions in the messages you have posted on our Forum over the last few days.
I am sorry to read about your situation and that you have contacted children’s services and their suggestion is that you apply for a child arrangements (or other) order. From what you have said it seems that a social worker is communicating with your daughter (early help assessment) but not more broadly assessing her needs, for example, as a child in need. The social worker has spoken to her, and she indicates that your daughter ‘is fine’ and has not indicated that her father’s care is ’harmful or neglectful’ to her (you disagree).
Your daughter has asked you to ask the social worker not to communicate with her and you want to know if you can do this. Yes, – you can ask the social worker not to communicate with your daughter saying that these are your daughter’s wishes and feelings. You have said that her father thinks that having a social worker is helpful, perhaps asking the social worker to have a conversation with you and her father (at the same time) to discuss your differing views may help?
I understand your concerns about going back to court to vary any previous arrangements. You may want to try to ‘discuss’ the situation (with the father) outside of the court process first. Advice Now has a booklet about sorting out arrangements for children and Citizens Advice and Child Law Advice have some helpful information and tips. The social worker has said however, that they would help you with the contact arrangements, do ask them to arrange contact as soon as they can.
You have said that this is a stressful time for you Mind the mental health charity may be able to support you. Family Line may help too, or it may help to visit your GP and discuss your mental wellbeing with them.
Your daughter may need some support too. You mention that her father does not know that she has faced mental health challenges, it may be wise to share what you know with the social worker and explain to her what your daughter’s experiences have been. Children and young people can get support for their mental health from: Young Minds, The Mix or ChildLine.
If you would like to speak with one of our advisers, in confidence, do call our free service. The lines are open Monday to Friday from 9.30am to 3.00pm our number is 0808 801 0366. Other ways to contact us are here.
Best wishes
Suzie
Family Rights Group Adviser