4 Month Old NAI

[Eastboarder]

This is going to be a long one, so strap yourselves in....

My little boy was born in February, I had a difficult pregnancy and a very traumatic birthing experience which resulted in him being delivered by an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic, I then had to remain in hospital for a week after he was born due to my body basically crashing post partum. We were finally allowed home and recovery was difficult but my little boy made everything worth it, I have always said that I think we were given such a chilled little boy due to everything I went through to get him here.

However, when he was 6 weeks old I was getting him changed for a bath and noticed a bruise on his nappy line, I called my partner up to see if he knew where it had come from and he also had no idea so I became concerned that he might have some kind of bleeding disorder. I rang 111 thinking that they would advise me if this was a sign of a bleeding disorder, we were advised to take him to A&E.

Whilst in A&E the doctor advised us that he would have to make a referral to social services, I understood this and whilst we were there we noticed another circular bruise on his side. The doctor made the referral and explained the process of a child protection medical, I was then contacted by social services and was then informed that we would no longer be allowed to be alone with our son so I had to contact my mum to come and supervise us. We remained in hospital for nearly a week whilst they conducted the medical and the consultant felt that the circular mark looked like a bite so a referral was made to a bite specialist, who complained about the quality of the photographs taken but stated that it was absolutely not a human bite, however, could not rule out a dog bite. We were under the impression that once the strategy meeting had been held that we would just be able to go home as normal, however, were then told that these injuries were classified as "non accidental" and that we would have be supervised 24/7.

When we first met our original allocated social worker she deliberately showed up at the same time as the health visitor and sat in the appointment without my consent. During this appointment my mental health was discussed and you can imagine that at this time my mental health was not great. She "explained" what the process would now look like and spoke a section 20, she explained this as us just agreeing to work with social care and encouraged us to contact a solicitor to tell them that we want to sign one. That was the only information she provided for a section 20. She also made us believe that this supervision would be a very short term thing.

Next thing we know, we're sat in an Initial Child Protection Conference, my mental health is being used against me and our little boy is being placed on a child protection plan. It's starting to feel more and more like we are being accused of child abuse. We kept being told it was because we had no explanation for these bruises, however, if we had had an explanation, we would never have needed to have gone to hospital in the first place. So we make the decision to tell our families (that didn't already know), it's at this point we find out what a section 20 actually is and that we have been lied to by social care.

I file a formal complaint around this and multiple other issues we have with the service.

Fast forward to the middle of May, and I notice another bruise on his cheek, it is barely noticeable and the smallest mark you will ever see. I wait until my health visitor comes to see me to notify her as social care have made multiple errors when documenting things and we no longer trust them to do this accurately. She advises me to tell social care. Next thing I know we're back in hospital, both my and my partner's mum are also being accused of child abuse and my little boy is going through another child protection medical. We are not told that we are required to provide another supervisor and an agency worker arrives to ensure that I can stay with my son overnight. When the agency worker goes home the following morning we are then informed that we need to provide another supervisor and that we can no longer stay with our son. The nearest person we had lived 3 hours away, we had to leave my son screaming on a ward for 5 hours whilst waiting for this supervisor to get there.

We provide an explanation for the bruise on his cheek whilst in hospital to 3 different medical professionals. We are then told this has not been discussed and they are yet again classifying it as a "non accidental injury" and an emergency court hearing is held where they place him on an ICO, due to giving us a grand total of 20 minutes to decide if we want to sign a section 20, and order that he is placed into the care of my brother and his partner, who live 2.5 hours away.

When the social worker came to take him away from us she was more concerned about getting home than she was about the fact she was tearing my family apart. She was actively trying to convince my brother's partner to not take him so she could put him in a strangers care in the local area. She kept mentioning how far away where my brother lived was. She rushed my partner in getting the car seat in her car and told my brother's partner to "get him off her" when trying to remove my son off me. Then she left without his pram, giving us no indication of when we would be able to see him again.

We have a court hearing next week to determine if I can move in with my brother, if they say no, my brother will no longer be able to care for him as both him and his partner work full time. If that happens, they will place him into foster care and our already limited access to him will reduce significantly.

The social worker is using veiled threats to family members to make them say things that are constantly being taken out of context and used to back their agenda. Everything is being twisted and used against us. I am being made out to be dishonest and actively dissuading people to talk to social care. We are receiving no information from social care and it's like they consider us to no longer be his parents, even to the point of asking my brother how he is "adjusting to fatherhood".

On top of all of this, due to my profession, I am now at risk of losing my job. It feels as though social care have an agenda against myself and are actively trying to destroy my life. This process feels never ending and it feels that we will lose our son forever, we have done absolutely nothing wrong, we have a lovely home, a loving family, good jobs and want nothing but the best for our boy.

I don't know what I want from posting this, I suppose if anyone has any similar experiences and how they coped with them, but we are just so lost without him and we just don't know what to do.....

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Eastboarder

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. I understand how distressing and worrying it is. You would like to hear from other parents who have got through a similar situation about how they coped. I hope that parents on this forum will read your post and offer advice.

I can provide advice and information about the processes which I hope will help too.

You explain the circumstances which led to first a child protection plan and then an interim care order being made for your baby son. He has unexplained bruising. He first had a bruise when he was six weeks old. You did the right thing by taking him to hospital. A specialist doctor who examined photos of your son’s circular bruise ruled out a human bite mark but could not rule out (or confirm) that it was a dog bite. These situations trigger a child protection investigation when there are concerns about a suspected non-accidental injury. This led to children’s services requesting that you agree to be supervised full-time by family managers.

I am sorry to hear that the processes were poorly explained to you and that children’s services did not inform you what steps might follow from a strategy meeting or provide a clear explanation of the implications of a section 20 voluntary arrangement. As you have already made a complaint about these matters, I will not explore them further. I will add links below to help you make sense of the procedures and law under which children’s services (and medical professionals) work to safeguard children. Good communication between professionals and parents can make this traumatic experience more manageable.

• Non accidental injury
• Child protection procedures
• Children in care under a voluntary section 20 arrangement
• Complaints

Child protection resource: the social worker tells me my child has been hurt

Child protection resource: what happens when a child has been hurt and we don’t know who did it

You noticed another small bruise on your son’s cheek in mid-May. You showed the health visitor who asked you to notify children’s services; you did this. You had been worried about notifying them first because of your previous bad experience.However, they are the lead agency for child protection and so it is important for parents or kinship carers/ supervisors to report any new marks to children’s services straight away. You took your baby to hospital and provided an explanation for the bruise to several medical staff, but it was treated as a suspected non- accidental injury again.

Since then, your baby’s grandmothers have been ruled out as carers/supervisors for him. You had to arrange for another supervisor to come. This was very distressing and confusing. You raise concerns about how the social worker managed this situation and provided no indication about when you would see your baby again.

You are now in care proceedings . Your baby is currently placed with your brother and his partner under a temporary care order. Next week the family court will consider if you should move to your brother’s home; if they don't agree to this you fear that your baby son will be placed in stranger foster carer. If there are any other potential family members or connected carers who are willing to be assessed and who did not have contact with or care of your baby during the timeframe when he sustained the bruises, please put them forward to your social worker and your solicitor urgently for assessment.

Working closely with your solicitor is crucial as they are best placed to provide you with legal advice and to represent your position in the court. As the concerns are about bruising, the role of medical experts will be key too. Your legal representatives should be fully updated about the outcome of medical investigations and expert reports. There can be many different reasons why a baby bruises. The court will need to establish this. Please see this guide to working with a solicitor. Remember that the onus is on the local authority to prove their case – the burden of proof - not on parents to prove they did not harm their child.

As a Looked After Child (LAC), your son has an IRO and LAC reviews. You should be kept fully updated about him, consulted and involved in his care plans. You are his mum, you have parental responsibility and children’s services have a duty to work with you; please see this table which sets out what their legal duties are when a child is in care.

You are worried about the impact this will have on you professionally. I know this is an extra stress. If you are a member of a professional body or train union, they may be able to advise and support you. Or you employer may have an employment assistance programme where you may be able to access counselling or practical help.

I hope this is helpful. Please do get in touch again if you need further advice or information. You can post back on this forum, call our freephone advice line (0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm) send an advice enquiry form or use our webchat facility.

With best wishes

Suzie