SGO

[Jc34]

I have a child under an sgo , she was placed with paternal family 7 years ago. I lost my child due to my mental health due to childhood trauma of myself & DV & how I wasn’t ready to be a mum .
Now 7 years on I’ve completely turned my life around I moved away from everyone, I am in a happy healthy relationship, I have my own buisness & such an amazing support system around me .
I have recently found out I’m pregnant, is my past going to creep up on me & have me lose my unborn baby due to how my life was?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Jc34

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you experienced in the past and that as a result of their impact on your daughter, the court made a Special Guardianship Order
(SGO) for your daughter to be cared for by a member of her father’s family.

You don’t say if you have been able to maintain a relationship with your daughter and if you are in regular contact with her or if there have been difficulties with this.

However, you describe how in the seven years since the SGO you have made significant changes and that you are doing well. You are in a supportive, non-abusive relationship and have recently found out that you are pregnant. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

You are worried though that the fact that there is a SGO for your daughter means that you will not be able to care for your new baby when they are born.

It is not unusual for expectant mothers in your situation to have these worries. However, your current situation is as important as your past. From what you say, you and your partner are well placed to be able to care for your baby. However, as you have a child who is not in your care your midwife or GP may refer you to children’s services so that they can consider offering you a pre-birth assessment. If so, this will take into account your previous history but will look at your current situation too.

If you wish, you can contact children’s services directly rather than waiting for a medical professional to refer you.

You may find it helpful to have a look at our information on pre-birth assessments which you can find here. The most important thing for you to do is to look after yourself and your unborn baby by attending all your medical appointments and getting any extra support including mental health support, if you need it. You and your partner should also work with the social worker if they become involved and with any other professionals. You have a good support system around you so you can draw upon your supporters as and when you need to. We provide tips for expectant parents in your situation about what the best things to do are here.

If there are any concerns identified as part of a pre-birth assessment, then please get advice early. You can post again on this board or get advice via our freephone advice line, 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, via our advice enquiry form or webchat.

Wishing you well with your pregnancy.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Jc34]

Yes I see my child 8 times a year due to her paternal family being ‘too busy’ for me to see her more. I’m in the process of going back to court for unsupervised as they make the environment very unpleasant for my child & myself to have a strong meaningful relationship.
They make it very clear they don’t want me to have a relationship with my child.

They have always fought for supervised for the simple fact it’s a control thing& they don’t want to tell my child about my family etc. where I’ve been advised from the SGO team that when I go back to court this time that will be lifted because of the numerous pages of evidence I now have from how they will not allow me and my child to have a meaningful relationship.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Jc34

Thank you for your further post and for clarifying the situation in relation to your daughter.

I am sorry to hear that you have not been able to have the close meaningful relationship with your daughter that you would like, as her special guardian has not supported this.

However, it sounds as if you have accessed useful advice from the Special Guardianship support team and that you are in the process of asking the court to review and order better arrangements for you to see your child e.g. unsupervised. I hope that this will move matters forward.

If you need any advice or about the child arrangements order court process, Child Law Advice, Rights of Women or Support Through Court may be able to help.

I hope that your pregnancy is going well.

If you need any further advice or information about children’s services, please do post back or contact the advice service again via one of the options linked to here.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Jc34]

I’ve still not heard anything from SS I’m almost 17 weeks and under the pre term clinic due to having premature birth with child. Is this a good sign? Also paternal family had told child I am pregnant when SGO had told them prior it was my place to do so. They had made me feel as if I was very wrong and very selfish for moving on with my life and not being stuck in the same rut. I cannot endure any stress in pregnancy due to the risk of having another premature birth. Sgo team give me plenty of support and I suppose if they thought I was a risk they would get in touch with social services with my new baby right?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Jc34,
Thank you for your further post. I hope you are keeping well. I am glad to hear that you are receiving good support from the special guardianship team.

I am sorry to hear that news of your pregnancy was shared with your older child without you being part of that planning. Is it possible for you to have a contact session with your daughter soon? It may be reassuring for her to see you now that she has been told and find that your connection with her is strong and unaltered by this news. I hope there is a date for contact soon. Ideally, the special guardianship can help you to negotiate a timely contact session with the special guardians if there are any difficulties.

You also mention that you have not heard from children’s services at almost 17 weeks into your pregnancy. As previously advised, you could contact children’s services yourself to check on their response to the referral. As your your older child is not in your care due to the circumstances you were in at the time it is likely that children’s services would consider a pre-birth assessment. It is good to read about all the positive changes in your life since your previous pregnancy. Children’s services would look at your current life not your past so while I appreciate assessments are also stressful it would be a very different experience from your previous interaction.

Previous replies have provided links to information for parents to be but I will include it again here. Family Rights Group’s web page for parents to be who have had previous involvement with children’s services is here.

Best wishes,
Suzie