Dear South2015
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your further post.
I hope that you are well, and that your pregnancy is progressing well.
Your unborn baby is now subject to a pre-birth
child protection plan. I wonder if you have an
advocate to assist you in this process. If you have a disability or vulnerability that makes it difficult for you to participate in meetings about your baby, then you could use our template letter 1
here to ask children’s services to arrange for you to have an advocate.
You say that your baby’s situation will go to a
PLO stage. If so, you will then have a solicitor to assist you. You are working towards keeping your baby when he is born. But you are already considering other possibilities in case this is not possible.
You explain that you would not want your mum to care for your baby. She has an SGO for your daughter but unfortunately your relationship is strained. You know that your mum is caring for your daughter safely but are upset that she reported concerns to children’s services in the past and that she is restricting contact. I can understand that this is painful for you. You have recently stopped contact with both your mum and your daughter because of this. As a parent affected by special guardianship, you can go back to the Special Guardianship Support Team to ask for more help and support around contact with your child and your relationship with your mum. It is likely that a social worker completed an assessment of your support needs when special guardianship was being considered. Please see our advice sheet on:
Special Guardianship: Information for birth parents for more details on this. This also contains advice and signposting to mediation and legal advice about contact.
Although in your previous post you were keen that your baby would remain in the family and wanted the baby to be with your mum and your daughter (if you were unable to care for him) your views have changed considerably. You suggest that you would prefer your son to be adopted.
Adoption permanently severs the legal relationship between a child and their parents and family. It is a very final order.
There can be situations where parents agree to their child being adopted.
In this situation:
Parents do not have to show that adoption is the only realistic option for their child.
Children’s services do have to work with the parents.
Children’s services must do a careful analysis of the realistic options for the child’s long-term care. This might include them living long-term with a family member or friend.
I previously suggested that a
family group conference as a way of helping you and your family and the baby’s paternal family come up with a safe family plan for the baby. This could be useful so please do consider it. It may help you work through the different possibilities.
Your wishes and feelings must always be taken into consideration when plans are being made for your baby. When he is born, you will be the only person with
parental responsibility for him – unless you are married, register his father’s name on the birth cert or children’s services obtain a court order.
If children’s services obtain an
interim care order for the baby, then they can make decisions that you disagree with but must consider your views.
The child’s welfare, however, will always be the most important factor for the court when making any decisions about a child’s situation.
Your mum could ask the court’s permission to be joined to any court proceedings for the baby or to apply for a Special Guardianship Order.
It is clear from your post that you are trying to do your very best to ensure that you can care for your baby when he is born. For now, the most important thing for you to do is to look after your and the baby’s health and wellbeing, engaging with all the professionals and keeping all your appointments. There are steps that you can do to rebuild your relationship with your mum and daughter which may also help you in relation to your baby’s situation.
If you participate in pre-proceedings as you expect, the best thing to do will be to discuss your situation and your views very carefully with your solicitor who can provide you with specific legal advice about your situation and the options. Please see this
guide to working with a solicitor to assist you.
I hope that this helps.
It may be useful for you to contact the advice service by calling our freephone helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays).
If you prefer, you can post back for further advice or use our
advice enquiry form or our
webchat facility.
Best wishes
Suzie