Hi, a bit of a long story. I have 2 children, they are currently on a child protection plan, as my ex hit me last january. I phoned the police, he was arrested, but it was nfad.
The children were put on cp due to domestic violence. My ex no longer lives with us and is currently only allowed support contact in a centre.
My youngest has said that his dad has been to the house and hit me, which absolutely hasn't happened.
Ive since put cameras up in the house so I can prove he hasn't been round.
Social services are having a meeting to decide if it needs to go to pre proceedings. I am obviously terrified of this happening. What will they do if I admit that I have suffered domestic abuse in the past? Considering I am no longer with my ex, we dont live together and contact is supported?
Potential pre proceedings
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 5002
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Potential pre proceedings
Dear Fizzy!
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for posting. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I will reply to your post today.
I am sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. I understand how stressful it is.
You explain that your ex-partner assaulted you in January and was arrested. However, the police investigation resulted in no further action.
Your children are subject to child protection plans due to domestic abuse and children’s services are holding a legal planning meeting to decide if their situation should be addressed under a pre-proceeding process. You are really worried about this.
You and your ex-partner have separated. He sees the children in a contact centre where contact is 'supported'. Your son said that his dad had been home and hit you. You say this did not happen. You now have cameras set up at home as a precaution and to show that your ex- partner has not been around.
You are worried about how children’s services will respond if you admit that your ex-partner was violent towards you in the past. It is important that you are honest with them about your previous experiences so that they can properly support you and risk assess the situation. But they won’t be surprised as they are aware that domestic abuse is rarely a one-off and that it is often a series of acts over time. They may be concerned that your son said that your ex-partner had returned and hit you. They will be aware that past abusive behaviour is often an indicator of future behaviour. They would also be worried if a child is witnessing their father abuse their mother. Social workers should understand the dynamics of domestic abuse and be able to support you as the children’s mother and victim of domestic abuse to keep yourself and the children safe. They should also be working with your ex-partner to assess their concerns about his behaviour, its effect on the children and what they expect him to do to address this.
Have you engaged with a domestic abuse service? There may be other options that offer you and your children additional protection such as a non-molestation order. Please see our FAQs on domestic abuse and on protecting yourself through court for more information.
You may already know the outcome of the children’s services meeting. It is important to be aware that if it does go to pre-proceedings this does not automatically mean that children’s services will go to court to apply for a care order. Pre-proceedings can also mean that they step back from going to court if there is a robust safety plan in place which is being kept to. You may find it helpful to read our advice materials on pre-proceedings which explain this in more detail. The pre-proceedings process is sometimes described as a last chance for parents to make changes needed.
If children’s services do begin pre-proceedings you will be able to get free advice from a solicitor who will come to the pre-proceedings meeting/s with you. Please see this FAQ which explains what the solicitor will do and how to find a solicitor. We also have a guide to working with a solicitor which you may find helpful.
It sounds as if you are working hard to care for your children and keep them safe in a difficult situation. If you are not already working with a domestic abuse service, then I would recommend that you consider doing so. It may also be a good idea to involve your wider family network; this could be via a family group conference (FGC) to harness your family /friend support network.
Once you know what children’s services have decided please seek further advice as needed. You can post back here, call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9,30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), send an advice enquiry or use webchat.
With best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for posting. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I will reply to your post today.
I am sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. I understand how stressful it is.
You explain that your ex-partner assaulted you in January and was arrested. However, the police investigation resulted in no further action.
Your children are subject to child protection plans due to domestic abuse and children’s services are holding a legal planning meeting to decide if their situation should be addressed under a pre-proceeding process. You are really worried about this.
You and your ex-partner have separated. He sees the children in a contact centre where contact is 'supported'. Your son said that his dad had been home and hit you. You say this did not happen. You now have cameras set up at home as a precaution and to show that your ex- partner has not been around.
You are worried about how children’s services will respond if you admit that your ex-partner was violent towards you in the past. It is important that you are honest with them about your previous experiences so that they can properly support you and risk assess the situation. But they won’t be surprised as they are aware that domestic abuse is rarely a one-off and that it is often a series of acts over time. They may be concerned that your son said that your ex-partner had returned and hit you. They will be aware that past abusive behaviour is often an indicator of future behaviour. They would also be worried if a child is witnessing their father abuse their mother. Social workers should understand the dynamics of domestic abuse and be able to support you as the children’s mother and victim of domestic abuse to keep yourself and the children safe. They should also be working with your ex-partner to assess their concerns about his behaviour, its effect on the children and what they expect him to do to address this.
Have you engaged with a domestic abuse service? There may be other options that offer you and your children additional protection such as a non-molestation order. Please see our FAQs on domestic abuse and on protecting yourself through court for more information.
You may already know the outcome of the children’s services meeting. It is important to be aware that if it does go to pre-proceedings this does not automatically mean that children’s services will go to court to apply for a care order. Pre-proceedings can also mean that they step back from going to court if there is a robust safety plan in place which is being kept to. You may find it helpful to read our advice materials on pre-proceedings which explain this in more detail. The pre-proceedings process is sometimes described as a last chance for parents to make changes needed.
If children’s services do begin pre-proceedings you will be able to get free advice from a solicitor who will come to the pre-proceedings meeting/s with you. Please see this FAQ which explains what the solicitor will do and how to find a solicitor. We also have a guide to working with a solicitor which you may find helpful.
It sounds as if you are working hard to care for your children and keep them safe in a difficult situation. If you are not already working with a domestic abuse service, then I would recommend that you consider doing so. It may also be a good idea to involve your wider family network; this could be via a family group conference (FGC) to harness your family /friend support network.
Once you know what children’s services have decided please seek further advice as needed. You can post back here, call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9,30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), send an advice enquiry or use webchat.
With best wishes
Suzie
Who is online
In total there are 3 users online :: 2 registered, 0 hidden and 1 guest (based on users active over the past 1 minute)
Most users ever online was 72 on Mon Jun 22, 2026 8:34 pm