Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

My daughter has had her daughter removed and lives with the father .She 5 months pregnant and looks like her unborn Don will be removed .We don't really have a good relationship .I suspect drug use but not sure what going on as she don't tell me nothing . I tried getting in touch with LA through family front door and the last known Social Worker ( she has different one now) and noone returns calls or email. I wish to care for the unborn child if goes into care and I know my daughter would of not told them , she probably made up loads of lies about Me.What can I do as daughter 30yrs old and I'm getting no info. Thanks

It's not uncommon for LA's to not respond to family members especially by phone or email. I suggest an old fashioned letter addressed to the Head of Children's Services. You should be able to find their name from the authority website. Ensure it is marked Confidential. It will still be opened by the PA but will be dealt with.

I further suggest you keep it short and to the point. Something like:
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Dear name.

I am the mother of [Daughter's Name] who is pregnant with her second child. I understand the authority may be considering action to remove the child soon after birth. I would like to register my wish to care for my forthcoming grandchild in that event. I understand that placement within the wider family has been shown to be very beneficial to the child.
(Only if true ad: I have discussed this with [Daughter's name] with she supports this.)

I do hope I will be considered and that an initial assessment of my suitability can be take place before the birth.

Yours sincerely ......
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You will need to be careful to avoid being overtly critical of your daughter, although if an assessment takes place you will need to accept that this action is being taken for good reason. I also would not mention the local authority's failure to respond irritating as it is!

Either take it into the council yourself and get a receipt for delivery from the reception desk, or send by post 'Signed for'. Do make sure you have checked which council is responsible for Children's Services. I had to help a local family where English in not their first language where the mother had delivered a school choice application form to the wrong council office. The Borough Council and County Council are in offices on the opposite sides of the same street, Literally right opposite each other, but apparently it was too difficult for someone to walk it across the road as it had never arrived, She was then treated as a 'late application' and failed to get in the high school of her choice, and the lad has to take two buses to get to school at cost to the family or walk through a less desirable part of town!

It's a brave and tough thing you are proposing to do, and it will not be easy, but for the child to grow up knowing its family is very important. I wish you the best of luck.

Robin

Dear GHGH33

Welcome to the kinship carers’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about your family’s difficult situation. Your granddaughter has been ‘removed’ from her mother’s care and is living with her father. Your daughter is 5 months pregnant with a baby boy. You think your daughter may be misusing drugs. Your relationship is poor, so you are not sure exactly what the concerns are as your daughter is not updating you. However, you are very concerned that there is a risk that your baby grandson will be removed from his mother’s care when he is born. You would be willing to care for the baby once he is born but are aware that your daughter would not provide your details to children’s services. You have tried contacting children’s services with no success.

You have been given useful advice from Robin, another kinship carer, about how to inform children’s services of your willingness to be assessed as a kinship carer for your unborn grandson and how to raise this with a senior person e.g. the director. If you decide that you would like to email, then you can find their email address via this link here. It is good that you are trying to let children’s services know about you and your willingness to be involved in supporting your grandchildren at this stage. This allows the children’s social worker/s to think about you as a support/carer for the child/ren.

It is not possible to provide specific advice yet as it is unclear what legal process is happening for your granddaughter and your unborn grandson.

As a grandmother, without parental responsibility, children’s services cannot share this information with you without your daughter’s consent. As you say, your daughter is 30 years old, so she is an adult who can make decisions for herself and her child/ren even if unfortunately, those decisions may be poor. So, children’s services cannot provide you with information without your daughter’s agreement. However, they can receive information from you which is why it is a good idea for you to write in as discussed.

There may be a child protection plan in place for your granddaughter and for your unborn grandson. Your granddaughter is living with her father so if that is safe and he is willing and able to care for her long-term children’s services may encourage him to apply for a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) for the court to decide if she should live with him permanently. Or children’s services may go into care proceedings.

No legal action can be taken in relation to the unborn baby until he is born. But it is possible that there may be a pre-proceedings or Public Law Outline in place which potentially could lead to care proceedings.

Children’s services have a duty to consider family and friends if they apply to remove a child from their parents’ care. However, your daughter will have parental responsibility for her baby as soon as he is born so her views about you as a potential carer will need to be factored in. You are worried that she may have ‘made up lies about you.’ If you have an initial family and friends care (viability) assessment, the social worker will raised them with you as part of the assessment. You may find it helpful to look at our viability assessment guide and in particular our information for family and friends (contained in the appendix at the end). You can access the guide here.

It is good practice for children’s services to offer a family group conference (FGC) when they are making safety plans for children, including with whom they should live, so when contacting children’s services, you can also suggest this and say that you would be happy to take part. Your daughter’s consent is needed too.

Relatives can consider applying to the court for an order for a child to live with them, either a CAO or in most cases, a Special Guardianship Order (SGO). You can find out more about both here.

If you would like to discuss the situation with an adviser, please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366. The lines are open from Monday to Friday (except bank holidays), from 9.30 am to 3.00 p.m. you prefer, please post back on this forum, use our advice enquiry form or our webchat facility.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie