Child in Need - expecting child

[Krish00915]

Hi all,

My children have currently been placed on a children in need plan due to their father’s history and DV between the two of us. We were relocated and he has no parental responsibility. We have not been together for over a year, and only had the social involved as of this month as he was arrested at my premises(there was no DV or issues between us he had an argument outside of my premises with a cab driver)but due to the history the children were placed on a child in need plan. Visitation was allowed if supervised and via a third party which we did; as there is a restraining order in place. All contact has been cut off with their father and I have mentioned to my SW that this will be the case going forward as it’s no good when he is around and I will not allow supervised visits any longer which is what they also suggested.Whilst we are not together I have now discovered I am pregnant, and there is no possibility of him being the father. as he is not the father will social add my unborn onto the child in need plan? Would I have to declare who the father is? What if I didn’t know who the father is? Please no judgement!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Krish00915

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. However, I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you have experienced in the past and your current stressful situation.

You explain that your children’s father (who does not have parental responsibility for them) has been domestically violent to you in the past and has a concerning history. You relocated because of the domestic abuse and have a ‘restraining order’ in place against your ex-partner. Until recently he was able to see the children under supervision and via a third party.

He was arrested at your home recently. You explain that police were called due to an argument with a cab driver outside your home. My understanding is that he may also have breached the court order protecting you from him which is a criminal offence. Police referred to children’s services. You are now cooperating with a child in need plan for your children and have stopped contact.

You now have a dilemma. You state that your ex-partner is not the father of the unborn baby. But you are worried about the implications of your pregnancy in relation to children’s services’ involvement.

As there is a child in need plan currently for your two children, children’s services are likely to want to assess the needs of your unborn baby. This would be via a pre-birth assessment. You can find out much more about pre-birth assessments here.

Assessments should include the child’s father also where this is safe and possible. If you don’t know who the baby’s father is then you cannot provide this information. You should of course discuss the situation with the social worker in an honest and transparent way. Child in need is a voluntary process. You cannot be forced to provide details that you are unable to share. However, the social worker may query if your ex-partner could be the father as they are aware that he was at your home recently. As there is a history of domestic abuse, they will be aware that this often escalates in pregnancy. So, they will want to be sure that you, the unborn baby, and your children will be safe.

From what you have said, you have taken on board the concerns and do not intend allowing contact. You may find it helpful to access domestic abuse support, again. Please see a link to services here.

If children’s services became more concerned for the safety and welfare of the unborn baby or your two existing children, they could hold a strategy meeting with a multi-agency group to decide if they needed to do a child protection investigation which is not a voluntary process.

The best thing to do may be to continue to work openly with children’s services, your midwife and the other professionals involved. These tips on working with a social worker may be useful.

If you need further advice about children’s services’ involvement, then please post back or contact the advice service again via one of the options linked to here.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie