Hello,
So currently my two children are on a CP plan and have been since December due to DV in the home. I have repeatedly told them that I need help with my mental health and regulating my emotions(anger/reactive). It seems they don’t really believe me and think I am a victim which I have been in the past multiple times so I understand why but this time was different it was abusive from both sides and just really unhealthy and toxic. I phoned the police and we aren’t together but I really would like some help and I just think they think I’m this amazing mum because I guess I’m financially stable ish, I have a nice home, I’ve had a lot to cope with and I’m from a supportive family(in there eyes) and I was accessing help before they got involved was assessed by talking therapies and they said they couldn’t help and needed to refer me to the mental health team for a psychological assessment so I was so chuffed as finally I felt listened too and the lady that assessed me said she thinks I may have CPTSD which makes a lot of sense (I’m also diagnosed ADHD) I have a history of drug abuse also and in 2023 January I signed my eldest over to my mum and took my adhd medication and genuinely made amazing improvements and by June 2023 my eldest came home, however since social involvement they tried to get me assessed quicker by going through perinatal but by the time I had that appt my son was 1 so they referred me back to mental health team, then social decided that I could have therapy with there in-house therapist which to be completely honest isn’t doing much for me and I just feel like I need more support as some days I literally have the shortest temper because apparently my nervous system is constantly in fight or flight. Anyway I missed my last session due to my eldest being poorly and off school and I don’t want to be discussing all my trauma in front of him as he’s 7 and fully earwigs (I know this is normal) (I just feel like a phony and a fake tbh! I really need help with my reactions and my anger but equally I don’t want to loose my boys. ) anyway I’ve had an email through for my next therapy appointment and it says last session?! It will be my 5th session and I just think this isn’t beneficial and hasn’t benefited me at all. I have severe adhd and she told me to practice mindfulness!!! Like come on that’s almost impossible for someone with adhd and in constant burn out and a wrecked nervous system a 7 year old with adhd in part time school and a clingy 1 year old? What can I do to get help or what can I say. I just feel like social services don’t take me seriously and they think I’m minimising the abuse which I’m not because it was wrong but from both sides!! I’m the one that was physical!! I’m just not sure on my next steps as I don’t want them to just assume I’m better and I have to just start the whole mental health process again! Sometimes I don’t leave my house because of my anxiety and not because of fear but because I’m too anxious to be around big groups of people and I’m anxious if my house is a mess too like I’m feeling out of control.
Therapy From Children’s Services Mental Health Team
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Pinkmermaid
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2025 4:05 pm
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4970
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:57 pm
Re: Therapy From Children’s Services Mental Health Team
Dear Pinkmermaid
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of your difficult family situation and the distress you are experiencing. I hope that the advice and information I provide will help a little.
You are the mother of 2 boys, aged 1 and 7. Your older boy has ADHD as do you. A psychologist has also suggested that you may have complex post-traumatic stress disorder. The boys were made subject to child protection plans in December because of domestic abuse. You and your partner have separated. You say that you were violent to your partner as well as him being abusive to you. You will have had a review conference already and your next review will be 6 months after the last.
It is good to hear that you are engaging with and asking for the right support to help you with the difficulties that have been identified. Children’s services arranged for you to have therapeutic support from their in-house therapist. Unfortunately, you haven’t found this particularly helpful to date. You didn’t find the therapist’s suggestion that you practice mindfulness to manage your ADHD to be very useful.
You explain that the therapy offered is quite short-term (6 sessions only) and as you could not attend the last session as your eldest son was off school sick on that day; this means you will only have had 5 sessions when it ends. You are very clear that you would need something longer-term as you would like more mental health support and help to regulate your emotions. You recognise that you have a short temper and are very anxious much of the time.
It is very positive that you are actively seeking support to prevent your mental health declining and to find ways of better managing the difficulties you are experiencing. I would expect that the therapist will want to know from you what helped or what didn’t help and that they will discuss with you your future support needs in this respect. I would recommend that you let them know that you need more help than has been provided, what you think would help and that you clarify with them what referrals or suggestions they can provide to you. As there is a child protection plan in place, then you should also speak to the social worker about all of this and make sure that they are aware that you are requesting further support. They may be able to arrange or refer you or to agree with you what other steps you can take e.g. via your GP or the mental health team. As child protection is a multi-agency process, then the social worker can consult with the professionals involved including from health to ensure that there is a robust plan of support in place for your mental health needs, especially as you are the children’s primary carer.
I would encourage you to access domestic abuse support also so that you can discuss with a specialist domestic abuse practitioner the dynamics of your relationship with your ex-partner and your concerns about each of your behaviour.
You will have regular core group meetings as part of the child protection conference. They also provide a good opportunity and forum to review the plans for the boys and whether different or more help is needed to keep the boys safe at home in your care. Your contribution and your understanding of your family’s needs and circumstances is crucial.
If you feel that you would benefit from having an advocate to assist you at the child protection meetings due to your needs, you could consider using our template letter (1) to formally request this, although please be aware that not all areas have local advocacy services.
We have helpful guides too to working with an advocate and working with a social worker. They are here.
Children’s services’ view your family as supportive although you seem less sure about this. It could be a good idea to bring together your friend/family network to harness support and make sure that it is consistent. Please see our family group conference advice materials for more information about how this works.
I will put some links below to services and information that may be of interest to you:
• Family Line: they offer ‘free emotional support, information and guidance on family relationships – including siblings – conflict, parenting, caring, financial worries and more.’
• MIND: information and support with mental health needs and wellbeing.
• SANE; an independent charity providing emotional support and information to anyone affected by mental illness.
• ADHD UK: information for adults and children with ADHD
• Contact : a charity supporting families with disabled children
• Domestic Abuse services.
I hope this will help. If you would like to speak to an experienced adviser about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, lines are open Mon to Fri (except bank holidays) from 9:30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, please post back on this forum, use our advice enquiry form or webchat.
I hope you get the right support.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of your difficult family situation and the distress you are experiencing. I hope that the advice and information I provide will help a little.
You are the mother of 2 boys, aged 1 and 7. Your older boy has ADHD as do you. A psychologist has also suggested that you may have complex post-traumatic stress disorder. The boys were made subject to child protection plans in December because of domestic abuse. You and your partner have separated. You say that you were violent to your partner as well as him being abusive to you. You will have had a review conference already and your next review will be 6 months after the last.
It is good to hear that you are engaging with and asking for the right support to help you with the difficulties that have been identified. Children’s services arranged for you to have therapeutic support from their in-house therapist. Unfortunately, you haven’t found this particularly helpful to date. You didn’t find the therapist’s suggestion that you practice mindfulness to manage your ADHD to be very useful.
You explain that the therapy offered is quite short-term (6 sessions only) and as you could not attend the last session as your eldest son was off school sick on that day; this means you will only have had 5 sessions when it ends. You are very clear that you would need something longer-term as you would like more mental health support and help to regulate your emotions. You recognise that you have a short temper and are very anxious much of the time.
It is very positive that you are actively seeking support to prevent your mental health declining and to find ways of better managing the difficulties you are experiencing. I would expect that the therapist will want to know from you what helped or what didn’t help and that they will discuss with you your future support needs in this respect. I would recommend that you let them know that you need more help than has been provided, what you think would help and that you clarify with them what referrals or suggestions they can provide to you. As there is a child protection plan in place, then you should also speak to the social worker about all of this and make sure that they are aware that you are requesting further support. They may be able to arrange or refer you or to agree with you what other steps you can take e.g. via your GP or the mental health team. As child protection is a multi-agency process, then the social worker can consult with the professionals involved including from health to ensure that there is a robust plan of support in place for your mental health needs, especially as you are the children’s primary carer.
I would encourage you to access domestic abuse support also so that you can discuss with a specialist domestic abuse practitioner the dynamics of your relationship with your ex-partner and your concerns about each of your behaviour.
You will have regular core group meetings as part of the child protection conference. They also provide a good opportunity and forum to review the plans for the boys and whether different or more help is needed to keep the boys safe at home in your care. Your contribution and your understanding of your family’s needs and circumstances is crucial.
If you feel that you would benefit from having an advocate to assist you at the child protection meetings due to your needs, you could consider using our template letter (1) to formally request this, although please be aware that not all areas have local advocacy services.
We have helpful guides too to working with an advocate and working with a social worker. They are here.
Children’s services’ view your family as supportive although you seem less sure about this. It could be a good idea to bring together your friend/family network to harness support and make sure that it is consistent. Please see our family group conference advice materials for more information about how this works.
I will put some links below to services and information that may be of interest to you:
• Family Line: they offer ‘free emotional support, information and guidance on family relationships – including siblings – conflict, parenting, caring, financial worries and more.’
• MIND: information and support with mental health needs and wellbeing.
• SANE; an independent charity providing emotional support and information to anyone affected by mental illness.
• ADHD UK: information for adults and children with ADHD
• Contact : a charity supporting families with disabled children
• Domestic Abuse services.
I hope this will help. If you would like to speak to an experienced adviser about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, lines are open Mon to Fri (except bank holidays) from 9:30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, please post back on this forum, use our advice enquiry form or webchat.
I hope you get the right support.
Best wishes
Suzie
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