My voyage into the unknown

My voyage into the unknown

“I became a member of Family Rights Group’s kinship carers’ panel at the suggestion of a friend, Elaine, who was a member. She knew that my wife and I were caring for our granddaughter under a special guardianship order and told me that the kinship panel needed more men.

I knew virtually nothing about Family Rights Group and therefore was not at all sure what I was letting myself in for. But I trusted Elaine and so I gave my permission to be contacted.

I learnt that Family Rights Group support parents, as well as family members and friends who are involved with children’s services. In some cases, courts decide that a child could not safety remain in the care of a parent, so people like us were approached and asked to take over the care of that child. Often in an emergency, which happened to us.

I liked what I heard and decided to keep going

When I joined the panel, it was following lockdown and our meetings were online. After several attempts, I managed to join my first Zoom meeting but whilst I could hear them, no one could hear me. They were very patient and kept trying to help me but alas, no one could.

But I liked what I heard and decided to keep going. They even got one of their technical people to ring me and explain some basic things that helped me understand how to participate in online meetings, including the significance of properly using the mute button.

I thought they genuinely wanted to help me, a retired man with no knowledge of what I was doing, to feel confident enough to join in and that is exactly what I did.

Since my “silent” beginning, so long ago, I’ve found myself attending regular panel meetings where we share our views and support the campaigns that the charity is working on to improve the lives of kinship families.

I was chosen to speak to MPs in Parliament

I have also attended workshops with researchers and the Department of Education on kinship issues. Our views are sought because organisations are now really recognising the benefits of working in partnership with those with lived experience and this provides us with a platform to highlight both positive and negative practices.

I sit on committees focusing on kinship care and have attended various functions on behalf of the charity, including when I was chosen to speak in Parliament to members of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on kinship care.

When I was asked to do this, even though I was supported to plan my speech, I was extremely nervous and wondered why they would want to hear from a man in his seventies about an incident that changed my life years ago. But they did, not only were these very influential Members of Parliament listening but genuinely appeared to be interested in what I had to say.

I had my eyes opened, and made new friends

I have had my eyes opened, my brain stimulated and my knowledge considerably broadened around the subject of kinship care and have also made new friends.

More recently I have been asked to be a guest speaker in the charity’s Family Group Conference co-ordinators training courses. This opportunity allows me to speak to those on the course about how it feels to be a family member involved in this process. I am pleased to say that those attending regularly give positive feedback, including how my talk had increased their understanding of the impact their future roles can make on the lives of the families they would be working with.

My experiences make me feel that our panel members are working in partnership with Family Rights Group to enable improvements in the lives of many more families in the future when they are striving to provide happy, loving and stable homes for children who are unable to live safely within their families which is what kinship care is all about.”

– Ray Gritton, kinship carers’ panel member